Funky Purple
by Swift tales
Summary: Sixth in the Odd Colour Series, this is the sequel to Shimmering Red WARNING! EricRyan Slash! don't like it, don't read it, you've been warned. Rating is because of future events and references, but nothing really explicit not like usual
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Eric Delko mumbled something unintelligibly and lazily turned over, flopping one arm around the waist of the body next to him. He snuggled further into a deep the pillow and after a deep sigh completely relaxed and started to drift back off to sleep.

Ryan Wolfe felt the arm wrap around his waist and he smiled to himself. He was still pleasantly groggy and sleepy and he snuggled closer to the warmth by his side. He stretched languidly and then flopped down again.

His body was too tired and his mind was yet too sluggish and he just wanted to stay in that stage forever. He was awake enough to appreciate the warmth of Eric's body next to him yet asleep enough so his OCD wasn't pushing at him to get out of bed an do something, anything, useful.

He relaxed and allowed himself to float into the blisfull warmth of Eric's body, the feeling of love that always overwhelmed him when they were in their bed together and the soft beat of Eric's heart beneath his ear.

He shifted slightly and smiled at the small burn he could feel at the small of his back. He blushed furiously as he thought about the events last night even as he smiled at the good kind of soreness in his muscles. He frowned a minute later, it certainly wouldn't feel so good anymore when he was at work.

The thought of work made him wake up more fully and he groaned slightly as he realized that he was well and truly waking up now. He didn't want to wake up, not yet, he tried to hold on to the feeling of drifting for just a little while longer, but the tighter he clung to it, the quicker did the feeling fade.

Sighing to himself he cracked an eye open and resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't be getting back to sleep any time soon, he got up from the bed. Eric made a grab for him, but in his still asleep state the arm merely flopped back down upon the bed.

Ryan smiled affectionately and leaned down to kiss Eric's temple before making his way into the bathroom after grabbing a clean boxer short from his underwear drawer. He took a nice, hot shower and dried himself off with one of the nice, fluffy towels. He slipped on the clean boxer short and stood in front of the sink.

Ryan checked his appearance in the mirror, running a hand through his hair and splashing some water over his face. He still had about two hours before he had to go into work and he sighed as he put his each hand on a side of the sink and leaned forward.

He closed his eyes, feeling the tiredness overwhelm him. The caseload at the lab had been huge lately, they handled cases as fast as they could but sometimes it felt like they were trying to solve forty cases at the same time, it was simply exhausting. At the same time he was still trying to deal with finding out that Horatio and Rowen were getting married. They'd already told Eric, Alexx and Speed.

Speed had been thrown off completely, he'd had no idea that Horatio and Rowen were even interested in each other that way. Alexx had simply smiled and congratulated them in her all-knowing way. Eric had been slightly surprised, but not as completely blown away as Ryan had been.

Then again, his lover had had the chance to get used to the idea of Rowen and Horatio together. And apparently Rowen had tried to find out if Horatio would be opposed to the idea of children through Eric.

Ryan didn't really know what to think about it however. He knew that Horatio made Rowen happy, he'd seen the evidence first hand. And he could tell that Rowen made Horatio happy too. It was just so… weird.

Horatio and Rowen were two completely different people. Horatio was calm and Rowen was hysteric. Horatio was cool control and Rowen was chaos and havoc wreaking. Horatio thought before he acted and Rowen dove in head first, damn the consequences.

But when he thought about it like that, they were perfect for each other. They complimented each other, where one was lacking the other balanced it out. Rowen smiled even more these days if that was possible and Horatio definitely seemed to have adopted a slightly more relaxed posture. Even though he still kept the same intensity at work there was definitely a brighter spring to his step.

There were rumours about the boss seeing someone and when Rowen had heard a few from DC, who'd been hitting on her when she was looking for Ryan, she'd only strengthened them. Shocking the hell out of everybody she'd kissed Horatio right in front off the crime lab.

It seemed unthinkable that the private and slightly mysterious Horatio Caine would kiss anyone in full public view. But he'd simply smiled through the kiss and kissed her back. Ryan hadn't known if he should laugh or freak out.

He'd compromised, laughing out loud with Eric and Speed and freaking out alone afterwards.

He'd come to terms with it, mostly though and the more he saw Rowen and Horatio together the more he found himself smiling. He'd never seen Rowen look happier and he'd definitely never seen Horatio looking this happy either.

He sighed and pulled away from the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror for a while. Yeah, he could deal with it, he could deal with everything that made Rowen happy like this. He smiled.

He left the bathroom and made his way back to the bedroom, where Eric was still lying in bed, awake this time. The Russian Cuban gave him a hurt look. "You showered without me?" Ryan chuckled. "You were sleeping."

"Hmm, yes I was." And with one hand he grabbed Ryan, who'd walked over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, and pulled the younger man into bed with him. Moving swiftly, Eric, pulled the younger man closer and rolled on top of him, resting his weight on his hands, positioned at each side of Ryan's head.

Smiling he swooped down for a kiss, letting his tongue linger in Ryan's mouth and softly dancing with Ryan's own tongue. The Cuban swallowed the small whimper that emerged from Ryan's throat and he pulled away from his lover's mouth to suck gently at Ryan's collar bone.

The younger man arched up into the caress and moaned. He laid his hands on Eric's chest and pushed him away. "I've already showered today. I don't want to get all sweaty and in need of another shower." The younger man said plainly and Eric laughed, releasing his lover. He nuzzled into the side of Ryan's neck before rolling off of him.

"I should just take you right here and then, that would teach you to shower without me." The older man said teasingly and Ryan laughed, letting his body sink into the matress for a minute longer. Finally, sighing again he stood and got dressed.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ryan sighed as he shut the door of his car and walked up to the house he and Eric shared. He'd wrapped his case and Horatio had send him home early, telling him to get some rest and try to relax. Since the caseload had been so big lately and everybody had put in tons of overtime, they deserved their rest.

"Ryan!" The familiar voice alerted him immediately and he whirled around just in time to catch the yellow, blue and brown blur catapulting herself to him. He grinned to himself, feeling the tiredness leave his bones and realizing with a start, that the reason he'd been so tired, was because he'd missed her so much.

They hadn't seen each other in almost a week, they'd talked on the phone, but he hadn't seen her in a week. It might not seem much, but to him it felt like a life time. It had been hectic in the crime lab and he knew that the flu was going round and that she'd probably been swamped with sick children at work.

For a minute he wondered if Horatio had send him home early because the older man had known that she wouldn't be working at the moment and then quickly dismissed the thought, it didn't really matter.

Rowen Descamps pulled back and grinned at him. She was dressed in dark blue jeans and was wearing a canary yellow tanktop. Her lightbrown hair danced around her face and the hot pink sunglasses bounced with it on the top of her head. Her sharp blue eyes were smiling.

She was positively glowing. "It's so good to see you again, it's been ages. Let me look at you." He rolled his eyes good naturely and allowed her to look him over closely. Once she was satisfied she nodded and hugged him again.

They parted once more and Ryan smiled. "Let's go out for coffee."

They went to a familiar Starbuck's stand nearby, sitting down at one of the tables. Rowen took a bite out of her muffin and took a sip from her coffee. Ryan grimaced at her and Rowen merely winked.

"So how are you and Eric doing?" She asked, a curious glint to her eyes.

Ryan smiled. "We're doing fine. I'm glad we live together because we probably wouldn't be seeing a lot of each other if we weren't, with the huge caseload lately."

Rowen nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Horatio has been coming home later then ever, he looks exhausted." The comment appearently slipped out without her noticing and she blushed beat red.

Ryan grinned. He didn't mind her casusally mentioing Horatio, he'd get used to it. It was nice actually, that Rowen had someone and that she blushed red when she caught herself talking about him. Rowen didn't blush, it just wasn't like her, he thought it hilarious and it was a side of her he'd never seen before.

When they had been dating back in college, their friendship hadn't changed a lot. There was just much more kissing and physical contact then there had been before, but in heart Rowen didn't act any differently around him and Ryan didn't act any differently either. When they had broken up together, nothing had changed either, except for the physical contact which had become purely platonic once again.

Her relationship with Horatio was completely different, it was the first big relationship after Ryan, although she had dated a few guys in between, but nothing serious. Horatio brought out a side in Rowen that Ryan had never seen before and Ryan couldn't say that he minded.

Rowen seemed to recover from her blush quickly enough and shrugged, grinning. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you something. Horatio and I have been talking about the wedding and we're going to keep it simple. We're going to make an appointment at city hall, we're each going to invite a witness and then we're going to have a small party with family and friends, where I'm going to introduce Horatio to my parents. The point is, will you be my witness?"

Ryan smiled widely. "I'd love to." Then a frown came over his face. "You're going to introduce Horatio to your parents? You're parents are coming here?"

Rowen nodded. "They're my parents, I sent them an invitation to the wedding, fully expecting that they'd decline and than I get a respone that they're coming. And I can't just take it back."

Ryan nodded, then hesitated. "Are you sure you want them there?"

Rowen shook her head. "No, but what's done is done and I can't take it back. I'm not sure they'll even listen when I say I've changed my mind about inviting them."

Ryan sighed. "Well, if you're lucky they'll just have a few drinks and then leave again."

Rowen shook her head. "Somehow I doubt that."

"How long now has it been since you've talked to them?"

"Close to five years."

"Have you talked to Horatio about them?"

Rowen bit her lip. "Not yet, I'm not quite sure what to say; I'm sorry honey, but I've invited my parents and they're simple horrible. Yeah, that'll go over well."

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "You call Horatio honey?"

She glared at him, a smile hidden behind her styrofoam cup. "That's so not the point."

Ryan grinned and they shared a moment of comfortable silence, the kind of silence between two friends who don't really need to fill the time with talking. They were comfortable together.

Rowen smiled and took his hand. "It really means a lot to me, that you're not mad at me for marrying your boss."

Ryan smiled and gripped her hand back. "Remember when Calleigh kidnapped me? Well, of course you remember, but… when she got me, she left me alone to go to work and I had some time to think. There wasn't much else to do. I realized what's really important, you, your happiness, Eric and Eric's happiness. I want you to be happy and Horatio makes you happy."

A wide smile spread over Rowen's face. "Thanks Ryan. You being kidnapped made me realize a few things too. Life is short, I liked the lieutenant, approached him and now we're getting hitched."

Ryan grinned. "You do work fast, don't you?"

Rowen laughed and winked. "That's me."

"How is Eric, by the way, I haven't heard of him lately." Rowen asked, a curious frown on her face.

Ryan sighed. "The caseload has been huge lately so I haven't seen much of him myself. Add to the fact that Eric is working a high profile case and being accosted by Erica wherever he goes, it's not easy to have some time to ourselves."

Rowen snorted, but didn't comment any further, simply sipping from her styrofoam cup and giving it a disdainful look when it turned up empty. "Has she been bothering you?"

Ryan shook his head. "Nah, she's too busy trying to get juicy details out of Eric."

Rowen stood up, dumped her cup in a nearby trash can and went to get another one. Ryan rolled his eyes and watched her go.

--- ---- ---

Eric sighed as he catalogued the rest of his evidence. The case was finally closed, he could go home and just relax. He was sick with all the attention the case was getting, he'd be happy to just work on small time murders anyday.

Carefully putting all the evidence away, he closed the evidence lock up and strolled down the halls of the crime lab. He was just about to enter the locker room when he noticed the light in Horatio's office. Checking his watch, he realized it was close to midnight and shaking his head he approached the office.

He knocked softly on the glass door, causing Horatio to look up. The older man smiled and waved him in. He went to sit down on the chair opposite Horatio's desk. "It's kinda late." Horatio chuckled and put down the pen he'd been using to fill in paperwork and leaned back in his chair.

"I suppose so. I was just finishing this up and then leaving. What about you?" The older man asked. Eric sighed and rubbed his temple. "I finally finished catalogueing the evidence for the Tempermen-case. I thought it would be best if I got that done as soon possible, seeing as it's such a high profile case they'll be looking for mistakes with eagle eyes."

Horatio nodded. "Smart man." The lieutenant quickly cleaned up his desk and rose to his feet. The both of them left the crime lab together. "Eric, I still need a witness for the wedding. Are you interested?"

Eric grinned. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rowen hummed cheerfully to herself when she poured her coffee cup and took a sip. She took a bite of toast and opened the newspaper. She took another bite and turned a page when she heard Horatio coming down the stairs. She swallowed and grinned when she saw him enter the living room. He smiled at her and kissed her cheek while he went to grab himself a cup of coffee.

Ah, domestic bliss.

"Can I have a proper good morning kiss?" She asked, giving him a coy smile and he chuckled before pressing their lips together softly. They parted and he leaned his forehead against hers. "Good morning." He said, his voice still a little rough with sleep. "Good morning." She answered, sighing in contentment.

"I'm going to get a dress today, for the wedding." Rowen said, grinning.

Horatio smiled and sat down beside his wife to be. "You trying to make me curious?"

Rowen's grin widened. "Is it working?"

He chuckled. "It's starting too."

She smirked and pressed her mouth to his once more. "Good."

"Now, I have to get dressed, I still have a few appointments I have to handle before lunch." She said, draining her cup of coffee and standing from her seat. Before she could move for the stairs however, Horatio pulled her back against him so she landed on his lap.

"Is it a coincedance that today is the day you're going to go look for a dress and today is Ryan's day off?" He asked and she laughed.

Horatio smiled. "I didn't think so." He kissed the back of her neck and she stood again, giving him one last, heated kiss and headed for her bedroom.

He watched her go, his eyes following her long legs, bare because of the tiny shorts she was wearing. He'd always had a thing for women's legs, one of the few things that could make him weak in the knees and Rowen had great legs. She was small and petite, but she had great legs, firm and smooth.

He shook his head to get rid of the memory of her skin beneath his fingers and took another sip of his coffee. He bend forward over the abandoned newspaper and frowned when he read the newspaper-article about the Tempermen case. They were greatly exagerating some of the aspects of the murder, trying to make it into a bigger thing then it already was. He sighed and closed the newspaper, reading stuff like that only made him despise the newsbusiness. It wasn't about uncovering the truth, it was about the story they could sell.

If he had to fight his way through newscrews and dodge questions of reporters like Erica Sykes all the time he'd go crazy. He was glad that not every week brought a high profile case. Sighing, he checked his watch and stood from his chair. He slipped on his shoes and was contemplating whether to go up the stairs for a goodbye kiss or just say goodbye loud enough so she knew he was leaving, when she came down the stairs herself.

She was wearing dark blue jeans with a dark red top that closed over one shoulder but left the other one bare. Her brown hair had gotten long enough to pin up and a few strands framed her face. He just looked at her for a few minutes and knew he would have gone up the stairs for that goodbye kiss anyway, didn't matter if he'd ended up being late or not.

"You leaving?" She asked and he nodded, wordlessly wrapping an arm around her waist for a kiss. She buried her hands in his hair and he cupped her cheek with one hand while the other hand curled around her hip. "Do you really have to leave?" Her voice was soft and a little breathy.

He groaned against her mouth. "Yes, I don't want to be late." She sighed and released him. It took him a minute before he untangled himself and stepped aside, straightening his jacket.

She gave him one more small peck on the lips and he was out the door. She smiled ruefully to herself before pulling on her jacket and calling a cab to drive her to work. She'd probably have to get a car soon if she was going to get a kid and drive him to day care and school and stuff.

Rowen giggled to herself.

-- --- ---

Ryan slowly woke up, reaching behind him with an arm and feeling only cold sheets. He sighed, off course, it was his day off and Eric's day off was tomorrow. They couldn't get days off together, not with the huge caseloads of late. Ryan rolled unto his back and stared at the ceiling.

Rowen had somehow managed to convince him to go shopping with her. She was looking for a dress, well not just a dress, but The Dress, as she'd told him with a straight face. He wasn't really sure if he was the right person to take along, according to Rowen and Eric he didn't have any taste in clothing whatsoever.

He reckoned he was just there for moral support, it seemed it was the only thing he was good at. He lounged in bed for a few more minutes before getting up and heading towards the bathroom. He got underneath the hot spray and quickly washed himself. He stood underneath the spray for a few minutes, simply relaxing muscles before getting out and drying himself off.

He pulled on some clean clothes and went downstairs for breakfast. He supposed he should consider it an honour that she wanted him to go along for moral support when she went to buy a dress for her wedding.

He remembered when they were in high school, how Rowen would dream of her wedding. She'd been to a wedding once in a church and she'd vehemently told Ryan that she didn't want to do the whole boring thing. She'd said she just wanted to get an appointment at city hall, wear a pretty dress and have a great party.

The kind of dress used to change throughout the years, even when the city hall appointment and party never did. It was the one thing that wasn't different about her, when she was in the mood she could go on for hours about the dress.

He smiled to himself when he took a sip of coffee and quickly set out to make breakfast. He bustled around the kitchen for a while, eating, washing up, cleaning and cleaning a bit more. He decided to relax by watching some tv, but after switching it on and coming face to screen with Erica Sykes he quickly turned it off again. It wasn't worth it.

He entertained himself by playing a few games on his computer and generally relaxing. He missed times like this, when he could just sit around and do basically nothing. It was comfortable, it was nice. He didn't mind not being alone either, getting involved with Eric hardly left him alone anymore, there was always someone with him, if it wasn't Rowen it was Eric and if it wasn't those two it was Horatio, lately.

He found that he didn't really mind, but he didn't really mind some time alone either. It was kinda nice. He smiled as he made his little race car pass the red one. It was a kind of simplistic game, but he liked it.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This was the fifth store they'd been in and Ryan wasn't sure how long he was going to keep up. Rowen seemed to be bursting with energy while he was just getting more and more tired. He could process a scene for hours and process evidence for hours and still be energetic enough to go out for drinks, but a few hours shopping just drained his energy completely.

Rowen was browsing through the store at the moment while Ryan was just standing near a rack, pretending to be looking through the clothing but in reality taking a second to collect his thoughts and simply breathe.

He'd seen Rowen in a couple of simple evening gowns. She didn't like traditional wedding dresses and she was drawn more to dark red and night blue cocktail dresses then the traditional white gowns. She'd even tried on some hidious yellow dress that had a cleavage cut that came to her belly.

She'd laughed herself silly when she'd seen herself in the mirror and cackling wildly she'd stepped back in the fitting room to get changed into her normal clothes. He'd kept his eyes covered the minute he'd seen her almost naked chest.

"Hey." Rowen's voice startled him and he turned to look at her. She smiled at him and rolled her eyes. "Imagining what life would be like if you weren't here?"

He grinned. "And it was such a good dream too."

She stuck her tongue at him before sighing. "This sucks, come on, lets take a break and get some coffee."

Ryan raised his eyes towards the heavan. "Thank God!"

She elbowed him before dragging him out of the store to the nearest Starbucks. They sat down and Rowen sighed. "Maybe I've been sitting around with the idea for the perfect dress for so long, that no real dress can compare."

Ryan smiled to himself, he knew he'd been invited for moral support. "Come on, Rowen, normally you're the one whose looking at the bright side of life."

She rolled her eyes. "Well maybe because I'm the one getting married, I'm the one being a little down." She frowned two seconds later. "That didn't come out right."

Ryan chuckled. "Rowen, you've always wanted to get married and have kids, it's the one thing that you wouldn't allow yourself not to have while you were different with everything else. You love Horatio, you're crazy about him. And it's obvious he's crazy about you too, I don't think he would have allowed anyone else to kiss him in front of the entire lab."

Rowen laughed and grinned at him, the spark back in her sharp blue eyes. "I suppose so, it's not that I'm nervous about the wedding, I just…I want to look beautiful in a stunning dress. And I'm not finding the stupid stunning dress."

Ryan smiled. "That's jus the frustration talking, you'll find the dress. You might have to look for a few hours, days….weeks… whatever, but you'll find it. Don't worry."

Rowen grinned. "Yes, I will." She took a sip of her coffee and smiled. "We'll go looking in other stores after our break." She said and Ryan nodded, willing to go along, to see her happy. She'd always been there for him, always tried to make him happy, it was his turn this time.

"So, how does it feel like, knowing that you'll be getting married?" He asked, slightly curious. She had been unnaturaly quiet and subdued lately and he wondered what was going on in that crazy brain of hers.

She shrugged. "It feels odd, it's finally happening. And I'm so happy that I'm just…floating all the time. I never… I don't know… He's different. He makes me happy. He makes me want to make him happy. It just seems so unreal that everything is falling into place, just like that." And she snapped her fingers to demonstrate.

Ryan nodded in understanding, he'd felt the same way when he and Eric had moved in together. They'd been together for a while, but moving in together seemed like such a final decision, like they were connected forever.

And Rowen was going to have more then that. She was actually going to get married, with a paper to prove it and everything. For someone who always had the urge to take care of other people, it would probably be very odd to have someone take care of her. God knew that she'd never allowed him to worry about her.

They argued and bantered a little more over their coffee before getting up and walking further along the tons of stores. "Let's go in here." Rowen said, pointing at a store and Ryan stared at the window display for two full minutes before slowly shaking his head. "You're disturbed, seriously, you need some help."

"Come on, just for fun." Rowen said, cackling.

The store was an old fashioned store for old fashioned weddingdresses with all kinds of lace and frilly edges and frushes and dresses you couldn't sit down in properly and all buttoned up to the neck.

They laughed themselves silly while Rowen tried on several dresses that made her look like a blown up version of an ice cream cake. After about ten minutes the patron figured out what they were doing and kicked them out of the store.

"I can't even remember the last time I got kicked out of a store!" Rowen said, holding on to Ryan to stop herself from falling over. Ryan couldn't force the grin from his face and made sure Rowen didn't fall over laughing.

"I think the last time was when you tried to convince the clerck at the book store that they should put the Lord of the Rings Trilogy under the B for Brilliant instead of under the T for Tolkien."

They walked a couple of streets further and then finally stepped inside a clothing store. Rowen started browsing through the numerous racks of dresses while Ryan wandered around the store, occasionally looking at a dress hanging of one of the racks.

When he came to the back of the stores he half-heartedly started looking through the dresses. He wasn't really good at the whole stylish dressing thing. He didn't have very good taste, if Rowen and Eric were to be believed.

He was just about to move on when he heared Rowen squeel in the front of the store. He found her holding a dress in her hands and biting her lip, smiling. When she saw him she turned around and wordlessly held the dress out for him to see.

It was a white, strapless dress made of firm, stiff fabric. There wasn't any deep cut for cleavage or anything, but merely ended with a clean line. At the bottom the white fabric stopped and flared out in see-through satin. Around the middle there was a soft, light blue, silk ribbon that was tied up in a small knot with two loose hanging ends on the left side.

He saw her blinding smile and the blush on her cheeks. "Well what are you waiting for? Try it on!" He urged her and grinning she leaved for the fitting-room. He hung around a couple of racks for a minute before he heard someone 'hmm'-ing behind him.

He turned around and stared. The dress fit her like a glove. The white fabric stopped just behind her butt and flared out around her knees. The top fit just above her breasts and her shoulders and arms were bear. The white and blue complimented her brown hair and the light blue silk straps fit around her without being too tight. She looked beautiful.

"What do you think?" She asked.

He gave her a soft smile. "Rowen, I think you've found your stunning dress."

TBC

Author's Note: if anyone wants to see a drawing of the dress I described, the one Rowen is going to wear on her wedding, I'll be uploading the picture soon on my LJ-Account. The picture was drawn by my friend Essy and I loved it so much that I asked if I could use it as Rowen's wedding dress. Since Essy likes the Odd Colour Series, she readily agreed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ryan was driving home after an entire day of shopping with Rowen. After she'd found the dress she'd gone all girly on him and insisted she needed a pair of shoes to match. They'd gone to several shoestores and eventually bought white sandles with a thick heel. She'd almost convinced him to go with her while she went to get some make-up that would match her shoes and dress, but he'd declined, telling her that make-up really wasn't his thing and he went home.

He parked his car in front of the house and stepped out. He was just about the door and get inside when he heard his cell phone go off. Rolling his eyes to himself he quickly stepped inside while getting out his phone and flipping it open.

"Wolfe."

"Hello Ryan."

Ryan rolled his eyes again. "What do you want, Erica?"

"That's not very nice."

"I don't care, just tell me what you want."

"Can't you just say hello like a normal person?"

"If you don't tell me what you want, I'm hanging up on you. And you know I'm not kidding."

"Fine, I need to talk to you. Can you meet me somewhere?"

Ryan frowned as he walked towards the kitchen, checking to make sure Eric wasn't home yet. "Like I'm actually going anywhere with you without knowing what you want."

"Ryan, come on, it's important."

Ryan frowned again, walking up the stairs to check the upstaris rooms. "How important."

"Important enough for me to leave my taperecorder behind."

Ryan stopped in his tracks. Erica never left her taperecorder behind, he knew that better then anyone. Even if he said that it was the off the record she recorded it behind his back. Was she really leaving it behind?

"How can I trust you?"

"You can't. You're going to have to take my word for it."

Ryan snorted and he could hear Erica's agitated hiss from the other end of the line. "Look, it's about the Tempermen-case. I found something that I think you're gonna wanna see."

"Then why call me? Eric is the CSI handling the case."

"Like Eric would actually listen to me." She said, a derisive tone to her voice.

"What made you think I'd listen to you?" He snapped back.

She chuckled in his ear. "Come on, Ryan, I know you. You can't let something like this slide. You wouldn't want your precious lab to miss anything or to make a mistake, especially not your lover." She spat out the word lover like it burned her tongue.

He sighed, she was right. In that respect she knew him well. He didn't want the lab to take any more bad publicity, he didn't want Eric to get called in from the higher ups. It didn't matter that Erica might be up to something and might be lying through her teeth.

"Alright, where do you want to meet?" He asked and he could almost see her satisfied smirk.

"Meet me at the Black Samba in two hours." She said and promptly hung up.

He stared at the phone for a while after he'd flipped it shut again. The Black Samba was a club he and Rowen had frequented when they were in collage. They used to go there as a couple on dates. Erica had interrupted a few dates of them there.

He wondered why after all these years she'd want to meet in Black Samba. It didn't make much sense. The whole in two hours thing didn't make much sense either. If it was really that important that she'd call him to meet her, instead of discussing it over the phone, why wait for another two hours?

He shook his head and went back downstairs, Erica didn't make a lot of sense to him in general, why would she now? He sighed and flopped down on the sofa. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

That's how Eric found him, fifteen minutes later. He smiled at the sight of his worn-out younger lover and sat down on his lover's lap so he stradled Ryan's thighs. He could see Ryan smile and grinned. "If you sleep like that you'll get a crick in your neck."

Ryan straightened up and smiled up at his lover. "Who said anything about sleeping?" Eric leered at him before kissing him. It was soft and lingering, stroking the flames of desire burning in Ryan's belly. Ryan could already feel the need for Eric burning inside of him.

He moaned against Eric's mouth, pressing his body closer and tangling his hands in Eric's hair. He could feel Eric's smirk forming against his lips and his hand crept underneath Eric's shirt, stroking the smooth skin underneath. Eric groaned and ground down his erection against Eric, through their clothes.

Finally their mouths parted and Ryan threw his head back while Eric kept thrusting against him. God, it felt so good. Eric stared at his lover, no doubt Ryan had no idea how good he was looking. The younger man's head was thrown back, an expression of pure pleasure on his face, his mouth was open in a silent scream and it looked so very tempting that Eric leaned forward and thrust his tongue inside, mimicking the act he wanted to do to Ryan.

However, they could get to that later and Eric smirked as he picked up his thrusting. They were rutting against eachother, seeking completion and desperate for release. He released Ryan's mouth and kissed a trail down the smooth column of Ryan's neck, sucking on the skin. He sped up and ground down harder, and Ryan whimpered in the back of his throat.

"Come on, baby." Eric murmered in Ryan's ear and Ryan groaned at the sound of Eric's hoarse voice. He was panting for air and Eric sunk his teeth into Ryan's skin where his neck met his shoulder. The younger man cried out violently and came, shuddering. Eric followed him two thrusts later.

Ryan slumped down on the couch and in turn Eric slumped against him, resting his head on the younger man's shoulder while Ryan rested his hand on the back of the couch. "I haven't come in my pants since high school." Ryan said, staring disbelievingly at the ceiling.

Eric smirked and nodded. "I must be good."

Ryan chuckled and gave him a slight shove. "You're so full of yourself."

Eric grinned. "You mean my pants are full of myself."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "That was the most disgusting thing you've said to me all day."

Eric smirked and licked Ryan's ear before getting off the couch, the cum in his pants was cooling down and already sticking to his skin. It was slightly uncomfortable and he was already edging towards the bedroom in hopes of getting his pants off soon.

Ryan sighed and checked the clock, an hour had already passed. He frowned, it didn't feel like his romp with Eric had lasted so long, but then again, when you're mind was slowly seeping out through your cock, your sense of time was the first thing to go.

He got up and headed for the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower."

He said to Eric, who grinned and followed him. "Want me to join you?"

Ryan hesitated, he needed to take a quick shower, get new clothes and then leave for the Black Samba.

When he showered with Eric, it was never a short shower. Ryan smiled sheepishly and shook his head. "I have to go somewhere and I need a quick shower and then some new clothes. I'm afraid if I'll shower with you, I won't get there on time."

Eric nodded, but followed him to the bathroom anyway. "Where are you going?" He asked and Ryan hesitated as he stripped down. Did he really want to admit to Eric that he was going to see Erica Sykes because she thought she knew something about the Tempermen-case that Eric had missed?

"I'm meeting some old friends from patrol, we're going out for some drinks." Ryan said, hating himself for lying to his lover.

Eric just nodded and smiled. "Alright, have fun. I think I'll call Speed and see if he wants to hang out or something."

Ryan smiled and nodded, climbing into the shower.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ryan sighed as he drove to Black Samba. He'd lied to Eric, he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that he'd lied to his lover, the man he loved more then anything. What on earth had possessed him? No, he knew the answer to that question. He just couldn't get his mind around the fact that he'd lied to Eric because of Erica Sykes of all people.

If he'd lied to Eric for Rowen, it wouldn't have been that much of a problem. He wouldn't have liked it, but for Rowen he'd do practically anything. But lying for or because of Erica Sykes? He shook his head to himself, he'd just have to make it up to Eric. He grinned to himself, yeah, he'd make it up to Eric. And as long as Rowen didn't find out that he'd agreed to meet Erica somewhere, everything would be fine.

He took a left turn and parked his car. He closed his eyes and leaned back against his seat. He'd just find out what Erica wanted and then he'd leave again. He wasn't going to stick around for extra drinks or anything. Just find out what she wanted and then go home, that was the plan and he was going to stick to it.

He entered the club easily, he'd carefully chosen an outfit that looked sexy (according to Rowen) but wouldn't really rouse Eric's suspiscions. He was wearing black jeans and a blood red, silk dress shirt. He'd covered the shirt with a dark jacket when he left the house, but he'd left the jacket in the car.

He look around and spotted Erica near the bar. She was wearing a short pink skirt with a white piece of fabric Ryan reckoned was meant to be a top. Her heels looked longer then her legs and her hair fell loose around her shoulders in thick waves. Her purse was resting on her lap and he grimaced at the tacky gold, shiny fabric. And people said he had bad fashion sense.

He calmly approached the bar and slipped on the stool next to her. He ordered a beer while she turned to look at him, trying to give him a sultry glance. He ignored her advances and took a sip of his beer.

"So what did you want?" He asked.

"Except for you, not much." She said, her voice coy.

He glared at her, anger stirring in his belly. "If I came all the way over here for nothing, I'll…"

"Relax Ryan!" She interrupted him and smiled. "I have some very important news for you."

He frowned at her and took another sip of his glass. "Then spill."

Erica sighed. "Well, about three days ago Otto Tempermen was found dead in his home. Otto Tempermen was the CEO of Tempermen Classics, a business that specialized in tracking down and buying collectables dating back years ago and then selling it again at high prices and only to certain collectors. Tempermen became a high profile case because he had a lot of connections with high-ranking officials in the county."

Ryan rolled his eyes at her. "I know all of that already."

Erica glared at him. "Have a little patience will you."

She took a sip of her own drink and Ryan tapped his foot against the leg of his chair impatiently.

"According to the Miami Dade Crime Lab and all the evidence they've uncovered, Tempermen was killed by a pissed off employe who'd been fired because he'd been cooking the books and stole millions from Tempermen Classics. The employe's fingerprints and DNA had been found at the crime scene and on the body. An easy case. At least that's what it looked like, right?"

Ryan nodded, a thoughtful frown covering his brow. "Right, that's what I've heard."

"But, according to another source, a highly reliable, I might add, Tempermen was having an affair with his secretary. Now Tempermen was single, so he wasn't the one cheating on an angry spouse. His secretary however, is married with a husband who has a record of domestic violence. Now, what do you think he'd do if he found out that his dutiful wife was sleeping with her boss?"

Ryan shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense. A woman stays with a man who hits her out of fear and out of a disorted sense of loyalty and love. They convince themselves that their husband is just having a temporary rough patch and things will get better or they convince themselves that it's for their own good, that they deserve it. They fear the guy, they don't go screwing around behind his back."

Erica smirked. "I never said that his record of domestic violence was with his current wife. He's been divorced twice and both women claimed that he beat them, but there was never any proof and he claimed they accused him for revenge and alimony."

Ryan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just because the secretary had an affair along with a violent husband doesn't mean that the husband killed Tempermen. Is there any other proof?"

Erica nodded. "According to the autopsy report Tempermen was strangled to death. The guy who got fired is a weak, geeky computernerd. The angry husband is a buf man who works at the docks and visits a gym whenever he can. Tempermen might have been a bit on the old side, but he was still in good shape."

Ryan sighed. "Anything else? What was the name of the secretary?"

Erica looked surprised. "You don't know?"

Ryan closed his eyes. "I was working another case. I've never met anyone who was involved with the case. I haven't read anything from the case files, I only know a few things I read in the paper. I try to avoid hearing about cases outside of work and since I haven't seen Eric outside of work for ages I haven't talked about it to him either. Basically, all that I know is what he did for a living, why he was a high profile case and that he was killed and who they arrested."

Erica shrugged and dropped both of her hands to her lap. "I suppose so. But I needed to check it out, not only because of what I've said, but also there was a secundary DNA sample on the body that wasn't identified."

Ryan glowered at her. "What do you want in return?"

"I want the scoop and the exclusive if I turn out to be right."

Ryan nodded. "Alright, I'll go over the case file tomorrow and see what I can do."

Erica nodded and shifted in her seat. "Alright, one more thing…"

But before she could continue Ryan's cell phone rang. Sighing to himself Ryan grabbed his phone and excused himself. He moved off the the stool to a nearby corner. Whoever was calling, he didn't want Erica hearing anything from his side of the conversation. She was too snoopy for her own good.

"Wolfe."

"…"

Ryan frowned, there wasn't an answer and all he could hear on the other side of the line was an odd kind of rustling, as if the phone was still inside a bag or covered by a piece of clothing or something.

"Hello?" He asked, frowning. But before he could say anything else the line went dead. He pulled the phone away from his ear and checked the display. He didn't recognize the number and flipped his phone shut. Maybe someone dailed the wrong number or something.

He moved back to the barstool where Erica was sipping her drink. He raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded. "One more thing, the secretary was pregnant and her husband couldn't have kids, something to do with an overdose of steroids. He knew for sure she was seeing somebody, just had to figure out who."

Ryan nodded and tipped his head back and emptied his drink, missing the expression of glee flitting over Erica's expression before she schooled it in an expression of neutrality. He put the glass back down on the bar and left without saying goodbye.

He was making his way to his car when he stopped in his tracks, suddenly feeling a dizzy. He shook his head, trying to dispel the sensation and after a while it faded, leaving a dull sense of lethargy behind. He frowned at himself and then shook his head.

"Ryan! Ryan wait up!"

He could hear the clicking of high heels and turned around slowly. Erica was running towards him, her long legs looking even longer because her heels and her blond hair streaming behind her. She came to a stop in front of him and smiled.

He smiled back.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ryan groaned and buried his head in the pillow. God, he had a major head ache and his mouth felt like someone had stuffed it full with cotton balls. What had he been doing last night? He heard a chuckle behind him and contemplated shoving a pillow in his lover's face for laughing at him.

Next thing he could feel warm lips and a hint of morning stubble on his back as Eric kissed his shoulder blades and made their way down Ryan's spine. Ryan moaned slightly and another chuckle reached his ears.

"Come on, querido, time to get up." Eric's voice whispered to him and Ryan looked up.

"Time to get up?" He asked.

Eric laughed, "You have to go to work."

Ryan sighed and nodded. "Alright, but I need some painkillers and a shower first."

Eric chuckled again and left the bed. Slowly, Ryan turned on his back and sat up. Something occurred to him suddenly and he frowned. "Eric, how did I come home last night?"

Eric stared at him and started laughing suddenly. "You don't remember?" Ryan shook his head and Eric sobered up. "A cab dropped you off, you were wasted. I don't think I've ever seen you that drunk before. Must have been good buddies of yours if you felt you could let loose like that."

Ryan frowned for a minute but nodded. Right, he'd told Eric he was going out with a few friends from patrol when he'd gone out to meet Erica because she had information about the Tempermen-case. He was going to check that out today. He'd emptied his drink and then he'd left.

He frowned, he couldn't remember anything else after that. He'd left the club, headed for his car and everything after that was just…nothing… a dark emptiness, a hole where his memories should be.

The feeling unsettled him, he never drank so much that he had black outs. He didn't like it when he couldn't recall where he'd been or what he'd done. And how did he get drunk anyway? He was planning to go home and he'd only had one bear. Had he run into Rowen or something? If that was true then there was no way Rowen would have let him go home alone in a cab.

Maybe he had met up with some buddies from patrol later, by accident. But he didn't have a lot of buddies from patrol, he hadn't been there long enough. Besides, he'd been planning on going home, where would he have met up with anyone?

He fell back unto the bed and watched as Eric laughed himself silly at the fact that his normally so controlled lover had gotten so totally drunk. The Cuban leaned over the bed and kissed him. Ryan raised his head and opened his mouth wide.

He moaned into the kiss and he wanted to run his hand through Eric's hair and pull him to the bed. But Eric pulled away and pressed their forehead's together. "Pity you can't remember last night. We had some fun." Eric whispered and Ryan could feel his body heat up in response to Eric's husky murmur.

Then the Cuban left the room, giving him a wink goodbye. Ryan sighed and got out of bed, he had to take a shower and some asprine. After he felt like a human being again Ryan brushed his teeth and headed downstairs.

Both of them left a couple of minutes later, Eric dropped him off at Black Samba so he could pick up his car. It was still there, thank God, Ryan thought as he got in. It wasn't even damaged either. He started the car and drove off, not noticing the black, unmarked tape lying in the passenger seat.

He got to the crime lab and immediately headed for the labs, he wanted to check out Erica's story. He didn't want to tell anyone about what she had told him yet, not before he'd checked the facts and some of the stuff she'd said. He opened the door to the evidence lock up and stepped inside.

It didn't take him a long time to find the box that contained all the evidence and all the files from the Tempermen-case. He pulled it from the shelves and put it on the table. He opened the lid and pulled out the case file, flipping it open.

She'd been right when she'd said that a secundary DNA-sample had been retrieved from the body. Tempermen had been strangled to death and when he read the profile and the fysical description of the guy who'd been arrested he had doubts believing he could have strangled Tempermen. And Tempermen was single.

But when he checked the secretary everything kind of…died. The secretary was a fifty-two year old woman who had been married to a man of seventy-four. Yup, had been, he'd died a couple of months ago of a heart attack. The secretary hadn't remarried and it seemed the only reason she hadn't retired was because she and Tempermen had been working together ever since he started the business and she didn't want to leave him and he didn't want to fire her.

Ryan frowned at the file, why would Erica drag him out to Black Samba with a ludicrous story that she would have known was wrong? That was kind of stupid, even for Erica. She had to have known she was wrong, checking a secretary was easy as cake for someone like her. But then, why would she lie to him like that?

He put away the files and was just about to go the trace lab to finish up on some paperwork, which never got finished, when his cell phone went off. He sighed, he really didn't feel like processing a crime scene today, which wasn't quite like him.

"Wolfe."

"Mr. Wolfe? It's Annabel from the reception desk. A lady just stopped by to drop off a note for you. She said to call you, you needed to see it right away."

"Alright, thanks Annabel, I'll come down right away."

"No problem, sir."

He quickly headed for the reception desk, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. When he got to the reception desk, Annabel smiled pleasantly and handed over a folded sheet of blue paper. Frowning curiuosly, he took it.

He moved away from the reception desk, a tight feeling in his gut and he opened the piece of paper.

_Ryan baby, _

_I'm not sure you'll remember our time together, so I left a tape behind in your car, for your viewing pleasure. Take a look and see the goodies. _

_Love, Erica. _

Ryan stared at it for a long, long time, feeling a deep horror settle in his bones as he read over the words over and over and over again. Oh my god, what had he done? What had happened? Oh God… he needed to see that tape, see exactly what had happened, what he'd done.

He almost ran towards the reception desk, the girl behind looking quite startled. "Tell lieutenant Caine I had to go, it's a personal emergency."

And he fled, he ran towards his car and yanked open the door. She'd left the tape in his car, where? And then he saw it, the tape looking innocent, lying on the seat. He quickly climbed in and then paused. Where was he going to go? He couldn't watch the tape at home, Eric was home and who knew what was on it?

He couldn't go to Rowen either, if he'd done something with Erica, he shuddered at the thought, then Rowen would kill him. He closed his eyes and thought deeply, where could he go to watch the tape?

After five minutes he hit the steering wheel. Damnit! There was no where else to go and he couldn't go and watch it in the lab. He rested his head on the steering wheel, if he could just remember what had happened!

He sighed and then leaned back against the seat. He'd go home, find a way to get Eric out of the house and then watch the tape. He started the car and drove off. When he got to his home he grabbed the tape and got out. It wasn't until he already reached the door that he noticed that Eric's car wasn't in the driveway.

He shrugged, Eric was probably out with some friends, that would make watching the tape easier. He went inside and into the living room. He went to the VHS-player and was about to pop in the tape when out of the corner of his eyes he noticed something odd.

A folded sheet of blue paper was lying on the coffee table. He'd left his own sheet of blue paper in the car. His heart hammering in his chest he grabbed it and unfolded it.

_Eric, _

_There is something you should know. Watch the tape and you'll see what I mean. _

_Erica_

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! He ran for the stairs and took them two at the time, he almost stumbled on the last step but ran for the bedroom. He yanked open the closet door and froze. All of Eric's clothes were gone.

He sank to the floor and simply stared at the empty space where Eric's clothes used to be.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Eric sighed as he sank down on the couch. He was at Speed's at the moment. He'd called the other man at work and said he needed a place to crash. Speed had said he could use his couch and hadn't said anything else. Eric was thankful for that, he didn't think he would have been able to stand it, staying in that house where he and Ryan had been so happy together. Or at least, that's what he'd thought, he'd thought they were happy.

He buried his face in his hands. Blindly he grabbed for the remote and pressed play again. He'd watched the tape over four times now and he still couldn't believe it, he just couldn't believe it.

"_Come on baby." _

Erica's voice, then Ryan's laughter. He didn't even need to look at it to know what was happening. A sloppy kiss followed. She'd push Ryan on the bed, and she'd straddle his hips, yanking at his clothes while he tangled his hands in her hair and murmured: "So pretty."

Then Ryan made that whimper in the back of his throat that meant he was getting aroused, completely aroused, almost out of his mind with desire. The rustle of clothing as it fell to the floor and then Erica's breathy cry when she lowered herself onto Ryan, taking him inside of her. Eric chocked back a sob.

Then the movement of hips, urgent and pressing. The sound of two bodies joining together, moans and cries. Then Erica's shout as she came and Ryan's cry as he followed. Then silence followed by laughter and the tape ended.

He looked up and turned off the TV and pressed the button to rewind the tape. He might have been tempted to believe that the tape was from when they were both in college, but he knew it wasn't true.

Even if he knew through Rowen that Ryan had never, ever been with Erica in college, he recognized Ryan, it was Ryan the way he was now, the exact same haircut, the small scar on his right eye where he got the nail in his eye. He recognized the clothes Ryan had been wearing last night, before he'd left.

Gone drinking with some buddies from patrol, my ass, Eric thought angrily. He pulled the tape back out of the VHS-player and hid it in his bag, the last thing he needed was for Speed to see it, or to have Speed catch Eric watching it.

He flopped back down on the couch and stared at the ceiling, he couldn't believe this was happening. He'd thought it was all over, that all of their troubles were finally over. That they could finally be together for real, no more crazy people kidnapping Ryan, no more Speed coming back from the dead, no more Eric being an ass because his sister was dying.

He'd thought they could finally be together, be happy and now… He closed his eyes against the wave of pain assaulting him. Why? Why did Ryan have to do that? He didn't understand, why would Ryan sleep with Erica Sykes?

From what Eric had heard Ryand hated Erica with a vengence, hated her. Why would he go and have sex with her when he could have been with Eric? Why? It didn't make any sense. Maybe it was a lust thing, Ryan wanted her because he couldn't have her. Eric gritted his teeth.

A part of him was tempted to call Rowen, to call on her and ask for the comfort he knew she would give. But Rowen had been Ryan's friend first and while he knew that she wouldn't blame him for leaving Ryan in this situation and that she'd probably be mad at Ryan, he couldn't do it. No matter how much Ryan had hurt him, he didn't want to take Rowen away from Ryan, she was the only one Ryan had left.

Besides, it would hurt Rowen too, she loved Ryan like no one else and while she'd probably be mad at him and forgive him after time, she'd be immensly hurt by the fact that Ryan had cheated on Eric. He didn't want to hurt their friendship.

He sighed again, Ryan wouldn't be home until tonight and then he'd find out that Eric had left. He wondered if this was the way their relationship was going to end, if this was it. After all they'd gone through, would this be the way they'd break up, for real?

Eric closed his eyes and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. He could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and his breath hitched in his chest. He gritted his teeth together, trying to keep the anguish at bay, he didn't want to fall apart, not here, not now.

When the doorbell rang Eric sighed and got up from the couch. He opened the door and was immediately ingulfed in a pair of arms. Startled his arms went to engulf the smaller form wrapped around him.

"Speed called me and said you called him for a place to crash, what happened?" Rowen asked as she pulled back to look at him.

Eric sighed, he didn't want to tell her, he didn't want to talk about it. And why did Speed call Rowen anyway? The traitor. He looked away. "I think you should talk to Ryan first."

Rowen frowned. "Why? What happened?"

Eric laid a hand on her shoulder. "I don't want you to… I need you to talk to Ryan about this first alright. You two love each other on a level I can't quite understand. You need to talk to him first."

Slowly, a sad expression painted on her face, she noddded. "Alright, I will. But... Eric, if you need me, you can call me, alright?"

Eric smiled, caving. "Alright, I'll call you if I need you."

Rowen smiled and nodded and after one last hug and a kiss on the cheek she left. He watched her walk away and closed the door again. He leaned his forehead against the wood and slowly felt the tears leeking out of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks.

He took a shuddering breath and squeezed his eyes closed. It hurt, it hurt so much, to think about the strange, dysfunctional family they'd been and now that was gone. He didn't know what Ryan was going to say or do when he found out Eric had left and frankly he didn't want to think about it just yet.

He couldn't think of facing Ryan right now, even though he'd have to, tomorrow at work. He moved away from the door, back to the couch. He looked at his bag where he knew the tape was and resisted the urge to look at it again and check for real if it was Ryan, if somehow, it wasn't him.

But the images were burned onto the inside of his eyelids. He shook his head, he needed a drink, lots of them. He stood, went to the kitchen and opened the cupboard where he knew Speed stashed his liquor. He grabbed the first bottle he saw, he didn't care what it was. He just didn't care.

He didn't care about Ryan having sex with Erica. He didn't care about his relationship with Ryan falling apart. He didn't care about Rowen and Horatio getting married. He didn't care about the children those two would have. He didn't care about the family they could have been. He didn't care!

The alcohol almost helped him convince himself.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ryan stared at the screen miserably, after he'd finally pulled himself together again and gotten up from the floor in front of the closet. He'd gone downstairs and started to watch the video tape. He'd stared at it, his eyes wide in disbelief. He wanted to cry, but his eyes were dry.

He took a deep breath and shut off the tv and heard the automatic rewind off his VHS player. He couldn't stand to watch it anymore right now. Eric had left and it was all his fault, this was what he'd done last night. When he'd told Eric he'd gone out with buddies from patrol. He could just imagine what the Cuban thought.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Oh, God, why had this happened? Why? Why did this have to happen just when he and Eric were finally happy? After everything they'd gone through they were finally leading a normal life, or as normal as it got with Rowen around.

He couldn't even remember drinking that much. He bit his lip, how had this happened? He hated Erica, hated her, how could he sleep with her? He'd never sleep with her, not ever! How had this happened? It just didn't make any kind of sense.

"Ryan?"

His head shot up when he heard his name and he stared at the woman standing in front of him. He didn't understand how she'd gotten here in the first place, and then remembered she had her own key. He wondered what she was doing here, before the obvious struck him.

Rowen, sweet, loyal, insane Rowen had come to see him. She'd come to make sure he was alright, like she always did. What would she say when she found out what he'd done? What would she do? He simply kept staring at her, not able to say anything. The VHS player stopped rewinding.

"Ryan, are you alright? Why are you sitting on the floor in front off the TV?"

He didn't say anything and a seriously concerned expression flitted across her face. She sank to her knees next to him and laid a hand on his shoulders. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he couldn't tell her. He couldn't say the words.

He slowly stood, turned on the tv and pressed play. Then he left, slowly climbing the stairs and going to the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and flopped down on their, his?, bed. He curled into a ball on top of the covers and squeezed his eyes shut. She'd see for herself, she'd see what he'd done.

About an hour later he could hear footsteps on the stairs and then the door to the bedroom opened. He could hear her padding in her bare feet across the carpet, she must have taken off her shoes at the bottom of the stairs, and then the bed dipped with her weight.

A hand laid on his shoulder and he waited with baited breath.

"Ryan, I'm not going to pretend I'm not angry with you for sleeping with her. But right now, I just want to know why. Eric told me to talk to you first, so I'm talking to you. Tell me, please?"

He sighed and turned around to look at her, the expression on her face was one of careful neutrality and he knew it was meant to hide the anger she was really feeling. "I don't remember. I don't remember what happened or how it happened."

He looked her in the eyes. "Erica called me, said that she had important information about the Tempermen case and that she would give it to me if I'd meet her in two hours at Black Samba. I didn't want to go, but she said that it would look bad for the lab and for Eric if we sent the wrong guy to jail. So I went, she said she wanted an exclusive interview and stuff and she'd give me the information. I remember having a drink, talking to her and then leaving. After that it's just a big black nothing. I told Eric I was going out drinking with buddies."

He could hear the tears in his voice and he tried to swallow them away, but it didn't work. She stared at him for a long time and he could practically see the wheels in her head turning.

"Ryan, are you sure you only had one drink?"

"Yes."

"What about the information Erica gave you, did it pan out?"

Ryan snorted. "No, and that was odd, anyone with a laptop and an internetconnection could have found out that it didn't add up. Anyone could have checked it."

Rowen frowned and sat up straight, indicating that Ryan should do the same. "Isn't that kinda odd? Since Erica is supposed to be some kind of really smart reporter?"

Ryan nodded, frowning too, something suddenly occuring to him. "You talked to Eric? How? Where?"

"He's staying at Speed's. Speed called me to say that Eric had asked for a place to stay. I went to see him, because I figured something was wrong, looks like I was right."

Ryan nodded and flopped back down onto the bed. "I don't know what happened. I don't remember anything, and I never would have known I slept with Erica, if it hadn't been for the tape. I can't believe I did that."

"Me neither." Rowen said, looking at him mournfully even while there was a hard edge to her voice.

He turned to look at her. "I'm sorry."

Rowen shook her head, her brown hair moving along with her in a bushy mess. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Ryan sighed and closed his eyes, burying his head in the pillow. He could hear his breathing hitch and he recognized the lump in his throat. There was an unpleasant prickly feeling behind his eyes and he knew that he was going to cry.

He didn't want to cry anymore, not with Rowen here. He had no right to cry, he was the one who'd hurt Eric. After everything that had happened, after everything they'd gone through to be together, Ryan was the one who drove them apart. And he couldn't even remember doing it.

"I suppose Erica made it all up, she made the entire theory up." Ryan whispered, his voice muffled even more by the pillow. Rowen didn't react, just quietely breathed next to him on the bed. She didn't make a sound and a shiver ran down Ryan's spine.

Rowen looked at her friend, his face buried in the pillow, his body curled into a small ball again and she bit her lip, not knowing what to do. If it was Eric, she'd just beat some sense into him, but this was Ryan and something was niggling at her that something wasn't quite right. She just couldn't put her finger on it.

She was angry, so angry and yet so concerned. She wanted to know why Ryan had done it, in an angry kind of way she wanted to know why Ryan had done it. But he didn't remember so he couldn't tell her. 

And perhaps Ryan not remembering bothered her the most, Ryan didn't ever drink enough to have black outs, not even in college. It just didn't make any kind of sense. And while Rowen was the epitome of confussion for others, she didn't like it when things didn't make sense.

She sighed and wormed her way down from the headbord until she was lying with her head on the pillow on her side of the bed, or Eric's side of the bed. She laid her hand on Ryan's back for a minute and then bit her lip.

"I have to go, Ryan." She said, finally. She needed to think about this, needed to think about what happened. She needed to understand and she couldn't do that without talking to Eric and he'd demanded she'd talk to Ryan first. She could understand why.

Ryan nodded, not speaking and she could feel his body tremble beneath her hand. She knew he probably thought she was never coming back, that she'd hate him for what he'd done. But she couldn't hate Ryan, not ever.

Yes, he'd screwed up, he'd screwed up big. But he was her best friend, she loved him like she loved no one else. She couldn't hate him and she couldn't drop him when he needed her. She'd come back, she just needed to talk to Eric now. And truthfully, she needed to distance herself because she was far too angry with him to comfort him right now.

She kissed the top of his head and rubbed the space between his shoulderblades with the palm of her hand. "I'll be back."

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

By the time Rowen had gotten back to Speed's place Eric was completely and utterly drunk. He'd finished the bottle of vodka he'd found in the cupboard with all the liquor and was now lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, every few seconds taking sips of the new bottle he'd acquired.

Rowen had been knocking (banging) on the door for five minutes now and she frowned at it. She knew that Eric was still inside, she'd seen his car. She didn't know why the Cuban wasn't answering. Maybe he was hurt or something?

She bit her lip again and wondered how the hell she was going to get inside. The only thing she could think of was going to the crime lab and demand Speed give her his key but that would take too long. If Eric was hurt he could be dead by the time she got the crime lab, of course she hardly suspected that it was that bad.

She considered the door carefully and thought about looking for a key underneath the worn welcome mat, but that would be too obvious for someone like Speed. Maybe on top of the doorjamb, but again too obvious. She even seriously doubted that Speed would leave a spare key outside. Despite that, she still checked just to make sure, turned out she was right.

She was just about to knock (bang) on the door again when it suddenly opened with a flourish. Eric was kind of swaying on his feet, reminding Rowen of the rocking of the sea and not having sea legs on a ship. It reminded her of the swings Ryan and she used to sit on when they were fourteen and tried to pretend they were too old for it. That never worked.

He stared at her, then a sloppy smile spread across his features. He was so obviously drunk, it made Rowen frown. She grabbed his arm and dragged him inside, causing the Cuban to stumble on his feet. She slammed the door of the apartment close with her foot and pushed Eric down on the couch.

She shook her head to herself and headed to the kitchen. After rooting around for a minute she found the supplies to make coffee. She made two cups and headed back inside the living room. She offered one to Eric and sipped her own.

He took it but almost immediately put it back down again and took up the bottle of alcohol. She frowned and after putting her cup of coffee down, she forcefully relieved the bottle of Eric's care. He frowned and spluttered and tried to grab it, but in his state he missed and almost flung himself against the coffee table.

"H'y! T'is mine!"

Rowen rolled her eyes and put the cap back on the bottle before putting it back where Eric had found it. "Actually, it's Speed's, and no, you're not drinking that. If you want something to drink, drink that." And she pointed towards the coffee cup Eric had put down.

He grimaced and shook his head, mumbling; "Don wanna."

Rowen grimaced and picked up the coffee cup before forcing it into his hands. "You're going to drink this, Eric Delko, even if I have to force it down your throat. It will sober you up."

Her voice was as threatening as possible, her face was determined and her hands were on her sides. Eric scowled at her drunkingly but then finally caved and took a sip of the coffee. He winced and grimaced. "Is too strong…bitter." He mumbled.

Rowen gave him the evil eye and grind her teeth together. "Drink it!"

The shout made Eric jump and he quickly downed the contents, practically burning his mouth in the process. She was glaring at him disapprovingly and he looked at the ground, refusing to meet her gaze.

Finally she sighed and sat down next to him. He was still pretty drunk and she fought the urge to whack him over the head and try to beat the soberness into him. She was a doctor, she knew it wouldn't work.

"What do you think you're doing, getting drunk like that?" She asked him, frowning.

He let out a shuddering breath and she could see a few tears leaking past his yes. "It's all over, ain't it? All over…" A laugh close to hysterics followed. "Thought we'd be together forever, slept with Erica, guess he didn't really want me."

Rowen took a deep breath and shook her head. "Oh, Eric…"

"Went drinking with buddies from patrol, my ass." Eric mumbled, his eyes slipping closed, despite the caffeine he'd just taken. "Didn't really love me." He whispered before promptly passing out, his head thrown back.

Rowen sighed and stood. She moved Eric into a semi-comfortable position on the couch, grumbling all the while that he could stand to loose a few pounds. After calling Speed and asking where she could find blankets and stuff, along with some powerful painkillers, she covered Eric with a blanket and shoved a pillow underneath his head.

She went into the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of water, next she went into the bathroom and pulled some painkillers from the medicin cabinet. She put both of them on the coffee table, where they'd be easy for Eric to find when he woke up.

She rubbed her forehead, thanks to Eric getting drunk she hadn't been able to talk to him and therefore couldn't get his side off the story. She was tempted to go back to Ryan's place but she decided against it, at this time she was still too angry at her long time friend to be supportive.

She growled to herself, if she didn't love Ryan so much she'd strangle him. She would have strangled Eric if he'd cheated on Ryan. A look out the window confirmed that it was already getting late. One more look at Eric confirmed that he wasn't going to be waking up anytime soon and she left, deciding to let it rest for tomorrow.

A cab brought her home and after ordering pizza she flopped down on her comfortable couch. The anger slowly seeped out of her, leaving exhaustion behind. She simply wanted to forget about everything that had happened today. She was idly watching TV, flipping through the channels when a pair of hands decended over her eyes, blocking the world from sight.

"Guess who?"

Rowen grinned. "I told you not to come around at this time of day, my fiancé will be home soon."

A warm chuckle in her ear caused her to shiver and his mouth on the back of her throat made her skin tingle. She turned around and smiled at the sight of his red hair and blue eyes. She pulled him down for a proper kiss and she could feel him smile into it. They seperated slowly and she smiled at him.

Horatio sat down on the opposite end of the couch, causing Rowen to put her feet on his lap and softly kick at him until he started rubbing them. He chuckled and she grinned.

"So, did you order take out or do you want me to cook something?" He aksed and she gave him an affronted look.

"Are you implying that I rely on you for cooking?"

"Yes." He said simply and Rowen resisted the urge to kick him a little harder then before, she didn't want him to stop rubbing her feet.

"I ordered pizza for both of us, the delivery guy should be here soon."

A twinkle in his blue eyes lit up. "How soon is soon?"

Rowen gave him a coy smile.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Rowen stared at the ceiling, her head resting on the pillow and her body demanding rest. But she couldn't sleep, she could only stare at the ceiling and twist the edge of the pillowcase around her finger. She bit her lip.

"What's wrong?"

Horatio's voice made her jump slightly and she turned to look at him. He was lying on his stomach, his hands folded underneath his head, which was turned to look at her. His blue eyes were regarding her calmly and she sighed.

"How did you know something was wrong?"

He sighed and turned to lie on his side, reaching out with one hand to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "Ryan left the lab in a hurry today, said that there were personal issues to take care off and because you're not sleeping. And the only reason why you wouldn't be sleeping is if you're worrying about something or if you're having second thoughts."

She grinned at him. "I'm not having second thoughts. I'm just…I'm a bit worried about Ryan and Eric."

He frowned slightly and she couldn't help but secretly smile on the inside. He understood, the way she felt like she needed to take care of Ryan, he understood that. There weren't a lot of people who could just let her rave and rant and try to take care of her loved ones, but Horatio understood and he could let her do what she felt like she needed to do.

He was the same in a similar manner. He loved as fiercely as she did and they would go to great lengths to protect the ones they loved and considered family. He more then understood, he felt the same and he was willing to let her do what she thought needed to be done.

"I figured there was something, Ryan isn't the type to leave work without asking about if, especially not for personal issues. What's going on?" He asked.

"It's …. I don't know. There is this tape of Ryan and Erica having sex and apparently it happened last night. Ryan can't remember doing it, he can only remember meeting up with Erica because she supposedly had some information about a case and he told Eric that he was meeting some buddies from patrol. Ryan got a tape and I think Eric did so too, but I'm not entirely sure. When I went to see Eric to talk about it, after I'd talked to Ryan, he was drunk and passed out a few minutes after I came in. And Eric is staying at Speed's apartment."

"That's quite a mouthful." Horatio said, his frown deepening, trying to process the information.

"It's just… something feels wrong. Ryan never drinks so much that he blacks out and he can only remember having one drink. How come he can't remember anything?" Rowen shook her head and looked back up at the ceiling. "I just don't…. it feels wrong, like something's not right."

"Did the information Erica promised she had pan out?" Horatio asked, the wheels in his head already turning.

Rowen snorted. "Nope, according to Ryan, it had to have been a bold faced lie."

"That's odd, for someone like Erica to lie about that. Normally she's boasting about her reliable sources and then blowing things out of proportion."

Rowen sighed and nodded. "I know, that's why this is bothering me so much. I just wish I knew what happened. I want to fix this. I mean, after everything they've gone through, they should be able to be together, without all this …crap happening. But it's like fate just won't give them a break."

Horatio didn't answer, just looked at her with calm eyes and she looked back at him, both lost in their own thoughts. She sighed and buried her face in the pillow, groaning. "I Just don't know what to do… and I'm mad! I'm so mad at Ryan for doing it! I just can't believe he did that. I always thought he'd never do something like that, not ever. I don't know… it's like he temporarily lost his mind or something."

Horatio blinked a couple of times. "You said, he'd only had one drink right?"

Rowen nodded. "Yeah….why?"

Horatio turned to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling. "Maybe he did loose his mind temporarily. Did he leave Erica alone with that one drink for a short period of time?"

Rowen blinked and suddenly sat up straight, turning half way so she could look at him. "Do you think she spiked his drink?"

Horatio shrugged. "If you say that there was no way Ryan would have done anything with Erica willingly and in full possession of his faculties and he really did only have that one drink…I don't see much of another possibility. Of course, it'd be impossible to prove now, it's probably not in his system anymore."

Rowen bit her lip. "He never said that Erica was alone with his drink, however he didn't exactly describe it in great detail. But you're right, it would explain a lot. That also explains the tapes, doesn't it? She could have set this whole thing up just to break them up. I just never really thought she'd go to such lengths."

Horatio sat up straight as well and laid his hand on her shoulders. "I just mentioned it might a possibility, you can't prove anything. I wouldn't just go around accusing people."

She gave him a look and snorted. "Lieutenant, are you telling me there are cases when you don't listen to your gut or don't accuse anyone without evidence?"

Horatio was silent and laid back down. Rowen grinned and moved so she straddled him. "Ah! I'm right aren't I?"

Horatio chuckled and laid his hand on her thighs. "Yes, you're right."

She grinned. "You know what this means right? If Erica did spike Ryan's drink, that means I don't have to be mad at Ryan anymore, because he couldn't help himself."

Suddenly she jumped from the bed and flipped on the light, causing Horatio to groan and bury his head into the pillow, trying to avoid the sudden blinding light in his eyes. Rowen however squinted her way through the room into the bathroom.

"I have to go and talk to Ryan. This is important, I have to find a way to make sure what Erica did. And to do that I have to talk to Ryan and to Eric and then, eventually to Erica. I have to go now, this can't wait."

She shrugged into a dark blue shirt that Horatio was quite sure belonged to him and quickly slipped into dark blue jeans. She pulled on some miss-matching socks and slipped her feet into ratty, old sneakers.

Horatio grinned as she gave him a quick kiss and left through the bedroom door. Two minutes later she poked her head through the door and gave him a sheepish smile. "You don't mind me leaving so abruptly do you?"

Horatio chuckled and chucked a pillow at her head. "I'd be more surprised if you'd wait until the morning." Rowen grinned and winked before the chucking the pillow back at him.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Angela: you mentioned something about the casual way people were dealing with Ryan being drugged, well, no one knows yet. Eric assumes that Ryan cheated on him willingly and Ryan assumes that he must have gotten drunk and slept with Erica without because of the alcohol. No one knows that Ryan was drugged and actually date raped, not yet anyway.

Chapter 12

When Rowen barged into his house in the middle of the night, Ryan had been lying on the couch. He'd come back down into the living room after Rowen had left, unable to bear the thought of sleeping alone in _their _bed. So he'd tried to get some sleep on the couch, but sleep eluded him, slipping through his fingers as if he was trying to catch water in the palms of his hands.

He hated this, hated Eric for leaving, hated Erica for sleeping with him, hated that damn tape for being made, hated himself for not remembering what had happened and not having a tighter control on himself. He hated himself for ruining everything they'd finally been able to build up _together. _

That's how Rowen had found him, lying on the couch still fully clothed. She'd jumped on him and hugged the life out of him and he'd been so confused he'd just let her have her way. Then she'd gone on a rant about Erica and she and Horatio in a bed (he didn't want to go there) and drugs and his one drink that night and he hadn't understood a word she'd told him.

When he'd finally been able to push through her ramblings she was looking at him expectantly and he just stared back at her until she realized he hadn't understood what she'd been telling him. She took a deep breath and removed herself from his lap, where she'd landed after she'd pounced on him.

She sat down, cross legged, on the floor and took on a serious expression. He didn't think he could remember a time when he'd seen her more serious.

"When you met up with Erica that night, did you leave her alone with your one drink?"

He frowned at her. "For a minute or two, someone called me. It was odd though, there wasn't anyone on the other line, I think. I couldn't even hear anyone breathing. It was like the phone had been covered by a cloth or something."

Rowen stared at him. "Like inside a purse?"

Ryan nodded.

Rowen bit her lip and he could see that she was practically vibrating with exitement. "Did you recognize the number?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Did Erica have a purse?"

Ryan frowned and nodded. "Yes, she had a purse, some tacky golden thing."

"Okay, okay, what did you do after the phonecall? Tell me what happened precisely, don't leave anything out. If you scratched your butt or something, I wanna know about it."

Ryan frowned at her, a little disgruntled. But it seemed like she was on to something, even though his emotion riddled brain couldn't make any sense of it at the time, so he ignored the comment about his butt.

"I went back to the bar, we talked a bit more and after that I emptied my drink and left. I can remember making it to the parking lot, almost made it to my car when I heard someone call out my name and I turned around again… I think that was Erica."

Ryan frowned, he couldn't remember the exact details, the images were blurry and after the parking lot scene there was a big gaping hole where his memories should be. He was startled out of his toughts however when Rowen let out an ear-piercing scream and jumped on his lap again.

"She spiked your drink!"

Ryan blinked a couple of times, caught of guard. "She what?"

"She spiked your drink! It all makes sense now, she lured you to the club with the promise of keeping the crime lab's reputation in tact. Then she called you from her purse or something to lure you away from your drink and she spiked it. She made up some cock and bull story about the case and then ran after you when you were leaving, right there to catch you in your drugged state. She took you to her place, you were drugged enough to have sex with her and she taped it. Then she copied it, twice probably, kept the original, send you a copy and send Eric one. Ryan! She raped you!"

He stared at her a bit longer. "But why?"

She whacked him on the head. "To drive you and Eric apart you dummy! She's always wanted you, the only things standing in her way were me and Eric. She probably assumed that with me marrying Horatio and everything I'd be too busy to look after you and this was her perfect way of getting rid of Eric. She'd probably thought that he'd never forgive you."

"All of that, just to break us up?" Ryan asked, disbelieving.

Rowen shrugged. "People have funny minds, Ryan."

Ryan pushed her of his lap. "Then it worked didn't it? Because Eric will never forgive me for what I did!"

"Oh please! After everything he's done and after everything that's happened he doesn't have a choice but to forgive you, especially when he finds out that you were drugged!"

"But we can't prove that I was drugged, can we? Any drugs would have left my system by now and the glass I drank from has long since been cleaned. He won't believe me, he won't forgive me!"

Rowen huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'll get Horatio to talk to him."

Ryan blinked. "Horatio?"

"Yeah! He was the one who gave me the idea about the spiked drinks in the first place! He'll talk to Eric and because Horatio is always right Eric will believe him and everything will be alright. Well, everything will be alright after I've beaten the crap out of Erica."

"First of all, you can't just beat up Erica and second of all, how do you know for certain that Eric will forgive me because I was drugged? Betrayal runs deep, Rowen, sometimes the heart can't forgive even if the head knows it couldn't be helped."

Rowen stared at him for a moment and then bit her lip. "We'll make him forgive you."

Ryan looked away and Rowen sighed. "He loves you, Ryan. When I went to see him, he was drunk, utterly and completely drunk. He missed you like crazy! I could tell! He was so heartbroken and…"

"Exactly! He was heartbroken! I've broken his heart! How can he forgive me for doing that." The misery in Ryan's voice was unmistakeble.

Rowen resisted the urge to shake some sense into him. "It wasn't your fault, you were drugged!"

"How do we even know that for sure?"

This time she did shake him. "Because how else could your memory go blank after just one drink? I mean, sure, you're a leightweight and everyone knows you can't hold your liquor worth crap, but even you can stand one drink."

Ryan buried his head in his hands and Rowen got up from the floor to sit down next to him. "Ryan, he'll forgive you, you'll see."

He couldn't find it in himself to believe her.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

When Erica Sykes opened her door to insistent knocking that morning she hadn't expected to see a certain brown haired, extremely pissed fire cracker and a certain brown haired man she'd had a one-night stand with just two days ago.

She'd tried to slam the door in their faces but Rowen had shouldered her way in, Ryan following more timedly. He wasn't entirely sure about the whole "she spiked your drink thing", but he hadn't been able to convince Rowen to not confront Erica with the whole idea.

"What do you think you're doing?" The blond haired woman asked in outrage.

Rowen simply gave Erica one of her 'I hate you'-smiles and promptly slapped her in the face. Erica staggered back at the momentum before raising her hand to slap Rowen back when Rowen opened her mouth. "I know what you did."

The hand lowered abruptly.

Rowen formed a smug smile on her face. Erica narrowed her eyes. Ryan didn't quite know what to do. A part of him was pushing him to interfere, while another part was urging him to run away from the power struggle that was sure to errupt between these two formidable women.

Erica crossed her arms in front of her chest, her expression becoming neutral and cold at the same time, carefully keeping everything hidden. Rowen on the other hand, smiled gleefully, apparently Erica's reaction had told her everything she'd needed to know.

"And just what do you think I did?" Erica asked carefully, a biting tone to her voice and Rowen barely surpressed a squeel of glee.

"I know you drugged Ryan." She said, smugness and confidence in her voice.

Erica's eyes flickered from Ryan's form back to Rowen's face and she laughed, but her reaction was a tad bit too late. "I drugged him? What the hell are you talking about?"

"That night you lured him to the club with false information, you spiked his drink and then had sex with him. You know, that almost sounds like rape."

Erica's eyes flashed. "How dare you implicate that I would …"

"Oh save it! We both know what lengths you would go to to get Ryan into your claws." Rowen spat, her eyes burning brighter then Ryan had ever seen before.

"I wouldn't go as far as drugging Ryan!"

"Like hell you wouldn't!"

The both of them were yelling now and Ryan was just contemplating dragging Rowen out of there when suddenly Erica smirked and put her hands in her hips.

"Even if I did, there was nothing you could do about it, right? You can't even prove it."

The words hit Ryan like a sledgehammer and he stared at her. True, his opinion of her had never been high, but he'd always thought that in heart of hearts she was a normal person with certain values. But this… this proved him wrong.

"You really drugged me?" He whispered and both women turned around to look at him. Rowen was looking regretful now, seeing how much her friend was hurting. Erica, however, was smirking, a barely supressed expression of joy on her face.

"It's your own fault! I offered Ryan, I offered time and time again and all you did was drool after men! God… I had to do something. At least I had you for one night."

Ryan could feel the anger climing inside himself, he couldn't believe it, couldn't believe it. She'd ruined everything, she'd ruined his relationship with Eric, had ruined his relationship with the very person he lived for.

"So you drugged me just to break me up with Eric? Why not take it a step further huh? Why not just kidnap me like Calleigh did?"

He wasn't aware that he'd started yelling, nor the concerned look that Rowen gave him as Erica's eyes went dark and she huffed.

"Oh yeah? Kidnap you? Tell me Ryan, who was the first person they thought off when Calleigh kidnapped you? Me! Kidnapping you was out the question, besides I could end up in jail. This way, you can't prove anything and I got what I wanted, I got you, for one night and I got you and Eric to break up."

He wanted to hit her, he wanted to kill her and his fingers curled into fists as he imagined her neck in his hands, his fingers putting pressure on the bones until it snapped. He took a deep calming breath and tried to cool his raging temper.

They stared at each other long and hard and Ryan narrowed his eyes. "What was all that bullshit about the Tempermen case then?"

She shrugged. "I needed an excuse to get you to the bar and I needed you to stay long enough so I could slip the drug into your drink. You have no idea how easy it was Ryan, to finally get one up on you. You have no idea how long I've waited for this. I've loved you for years, Ryan, years, and then all of a sudden Mr. Cuban walks in and all my chances are blown out of the window."

Ryan snorted, feeling his anger bioling up inside of him. "Like your chances aren't out of the window now!"

She smiled, a cruel, satisfied smile. "Do you honestly believe that I would try to break up you and Eric just so you would be single again? Oh please, this was purely for revenge. You shouldn't discard people so easily Ryan, it shouldn't be so easy for you to reject them over and over again!"

He stared at her for a long time, his vision slowly going red. The anger inside his chest seemed to swell until he could hardly breath. He had to get out of there, he simply had to get out of there. He roughtly grabbed Rowen's arm and dragged her out the house.

He almost threw her into the car and only her cry of "You're hurting me!" made him loosen his grip. He climbed into the driver seat and slammed the door behind him. He turned the key in the ignition and drove off with squeeling tires.

When he reached his, _their, _house he got out the car and quickly went inside. Rowen found him leaning his forehead against the cool metal of the fridge and hesitantly approached him.

"Ryan?"

Her voice startled him, she sounded a bit unsure and she'd never sounded unsure as far as he knew her. He turned to look at her and she was frowning and biting her lip, looking worried. He sighed and turned around completely, resting his back against the fridge.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I …. I was just so…angry."

Rowen smiled and carefully laid her hand on his shoulder. "It's alright. I know what anger does to a person." She grinned and Ryan slowly grinned back, trying to release the anger still shimmering beneath the surface.

He felt violated and furious. How dare she do that to him! How dare she just decide that she'd have him without his consent? The worst thing was that he couldn't even remember, he couldn't even remember. And at the same time he couldn't help but wonder, had he really been so cruel to Erica? He couldn't remember, he'd never given her a second thought.

He wanted to cry, wanted to climb in the shower so he could scrub at his body until Erica was washed off his skin. He sighed and leaned his head back.

He just wanted to forget this ever happened, just wanted to curl up into Eric's arms. He just wanted the Cuban to hold him, to keep him safe. He wanted to sink away into his warm embrace and find solace and peace.

He could feel the tears leaking past his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He missed Eric, missed him like a gaping whole in his heart that couldn't be filled. He missed Eric like the ocean missed the sun in cold wintertimes. He missed Eric so much it hurt to breathe.

He couldn't stand this, he had to see Eric, had to talk to him. He needed to feel Eric against him, needed to kiss him, needed his presence, needed him so very desperately. He couldn't breath without the other man, couldn't live without him. He couldn't, not anymore.

But even now he couldn't go see Eric, not in private. He had to go to work and Eric would be there and Ryan didn't want to find out how Eric felt about him now.

He pushed himself away from the fridge and wipped his face, wipping away the tears. He looked at Rowen. "I have to go work."

Rowen nodded, still looking concerned. "Alright."

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Eric groaned and buried his head in the pillow. He had the hangover from hell, thank God for whoever had left the painkillers and the glass of water on the coffee table. He was waiting for them to kick in, but man his head hurt.

He sighed and tried to relax, tried to releave some of the pain, knowing that it wouldn't do him a lot of good. The apartment was dead silent, so he supposed that Speed wasn't up yet, which meant that he still had some time before he had to get ready for work.

He almost groaned again. Work, he had to go to work, where Ryan was. Ryan, who had a one-night stand with Erica Sykes while he told Eric that he was going out for some drinks with a few buddies from patrol. Ryan, who hadn't even come to talk to him, to try to explain when Eric had left.

He could remember Rowen showing up and he could remember sending her to go talk to Ryan first. He could faintly remember Rowen coming back, but he'd been too drunk at that point to really care. Now, he was paying for it though, with a splitting headache and a queezy stomach.

When his headache finally gave way to the drugs he could breathe again and then almost chocked on air when the sorrow washed like a fresh wave over his heart. He pushed back the tears and bit his lip. He didn't know how long it would take him to get over Ryan, didn't know how long it would take before he wouldn't be hurting so much anymore, but he could only hold his head high and fight through it.

He would forget Ryan eventually, he might never stop loving him, would probably never stop loving him. But Eric would get over him, would stop looking back on everything with so much pain that he could almost feel it burning his skin. He just needed time, a little time, time he didn't have.

He had to go to work and face Ryan everyday. He had to work with him everyday. He had to see Ryan's smile, his hair, his skin, his beautiful hazel eyes. He had to hear that voice everyday and he couldn't bear the thought.

For a minute he wondered if it was better if he'd never known. He and Ryan would probably still be together, he'd be lying in bed right now, with Ryan in his arms instead of lying on this couch all alone.

Immediately he chased the thought away, he didn't want to be with someone who cheated on him. Which brought him to the next question, had it been the first time? Had Ryan cheated on him before? Did he and Erica have an affair? If that was so, how long had it been going on?

Those questions kept going through his mind and he couldn't shake them off. They haunted him during his morning shower and through the coffee he'd made. They kept whispering in his ears when Speed got up too late and had to hurry through his shower.

Eric took a brief moment to contemplate if maybe Speed always woke up too late and that was why he always looked so damn scruffy. He tried to keep his mind on those little things and thoughts, tried to keep his mind occupied, but the questions still lingered. He couldn't decide whether he wanted the answers or whether he'd rather not know.

On his way to the crime lab he gotten a phone call from Horatio to meet him at a crime scene. After getting the adress Eric turned the car around and he could only hope that he didn't have to work this case with Ryan.

When he came to the crime scene he became blissfuly aware that he was going to do this crime scene on his own. It seemed like heaven to just be able to focus on the case without thinking about anything else.

Horatio had given him a look before leaving the crime scene and Eric hadn' t quite known what to think. Just because Horatio hung around with them more now, because he was marrying Rowen, didn't mean that he could read the older man any better. The only one who seemed to be able to read Horatio was Rowen. It seemed fitting, somehow.

He finished the case, stediously avoiding Ryan and Alexx, who obviously knew something was up. He managed to deflect Speed's questions, the other man had been in too much of a hurry that morning to confront Eric and the previous evening Eric had lain past out on his couch.

He could not, however, ignore or avoid Horatio's gaze. The older man did not approach him, nor did he speak to Eric about it, but Eric was nervous all the same. He was quite sure that Horatio knew, because he was engaged to Rowen and he doubted she wouldn't tell her lover. It was ridiculus though, Eric had no reason to be nervous, he wasn't the one who had cheated on his partner!

But it seemed that Horatio had decided he would stay out of it, although Eric couldn't be sure that Horatio wouldn't dare to interfere, with Rowen's prompting, at some point. After he was done working he quickly did his business in the locker room and was just about to leave when a familiar voice called out to him.

"Eric!"

Ryan sounded slightly alarmed and Eric didn't want to turn around and look. He just wanted to go to Speed's apartment and get some rest, some decent rest. However, he turned around, because he still couldn't deny Ryan anything.

The younger man looked like hell, there were dark circles underneath his eyes and his skin was a sickly pale colour. His hazel eyes were brimming with something that could be close to tears and want and need and Eric quickly looked somewhere else.

"Yeah?" His voice was harsh, but Eric couldn't care, he didn't want to care damnit.

"Can we talk?" Ryan's voice was timid and soft and Eric looked away, knowing that if he looked in Ryan's desperate eyes right now, that he'd cave.

"No, Ryan, I just want to go home and forget about this, alright?"

And he walked away, hurriedly moving towards his car, only to slow down when he saw the red headed figure standing next to it. Damn it! There was no where to run to now.

"Eric, we need to talk." Horatio said, there was a friendly smile on his face and his blue eyes were warm, but there was a hint of steel in his voice. Eric wanted to turn him down, but saying no to Horatio was a whole other thing then saying no to Ryan.

"Alright, but not here."

Horatio nodded and seemed to hesitate for a brief moment. "Alright, we'll meet up at Chill Rivers."

Chill Rivers was the club where Ryan and Rowen had gone dancing that time they'd ran into Eric, before Eric and Ryan had gotten together. Eric nodded, that was as close to neutral yet familiar territory as he could get. "I'll meet you there in an half an hour, alright?" Eric asked, needing some time to collect himself.

Horatio nodded and then calmly walked away, his back ramrod straight. Eric watched him go and sighed. He opened the door of his car and stepped in. From the corner of his eyes he could see Ryan getting into his car as well and Eric quickly looked away. He didn't want to think about Ryan, not now.

He sighed and leaned his head against the steering wheel. He didn't want to talk to Horatio and he briefly entertained the notion to simply drive to Speed's apartment and ditch Horatio at Chill Rivers. But that wasn't something you could just go around doing to your boss.

He could call Horatio and say that he'd changed his mind and wasn't coming and then hang up before Horatio could say anything. But Horatio would call back and then he'd be screwed anyway.

He sighed and turned to look at Ryan, who was sitting in his car, obviously talking on the phone to someone. The tears threathened to push past his eyes, but he denied them permission to roll over his cheeks. He refused to cry anymore.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Chill Rivers was a club annex small café. During the day they opened their doors for all kinds of clientel who wanted to get something to eat and some drinks. During the night it was a raving club with loud music and a crushing crowd of people.

Chill Rivers was still serving food but Eric wasn't hungry. He was sitting in a booth, watching as Horatio stepped through the door and looked around. He spotted Eric and approached him. There was something about Horatio Caine that ennerved people who didn't know him very well.

Maybe it was the cool control over his emotions, or the intense magnitism of his eyes. Maybe it was the strength hidden beneath the surface, yet still visible to anyone who dared to smart mouth him. Maybe it was the way he commanded respect, even from those who didn't want to give it to him. Maybe it was a combination to all of those things, Eric didn't know.

He could still remember some of his first days at the crime lab, Horatio was nice and kind but he'd made Eric nervous simply being in the same room with him. The only ones who'd never seemed to be intimidated by Horatio were Speed and Rowen. Speed, who'd simply grin at the older man and say something sarcastic and Rowen, who'd fallen in love with him.

The red headed man sat down across from him and calmly ordered a coffee. The waitress smiled and quickly went to get him one. After placing the steaming cup in front of him, she winked and then disappeared again. When Horatio picked up his cup, the waitress' phonenumber scribled on a paper was underneath it.

Horatio calmly picked it up, and put it in the ashtray. Eric fought to keep the grin of his face. There were of course, some people who were instantly drawn to Horatio. He supposed Rowen was one of those people, although she'd gone about that in a completely different way.

Sighing, his nerves crackling, waiting for Horatio to start talking, he took a sip of his beer. He'd thought he'd needed something to get him through this conversation. "Eric, I heard what happened with you and Ryan."

Eric nodded, fidgeting in his seat. Horatio looked vaguely amused.

"I guess Rowen told you, huh?" Eric asked.

Horatio nodded. "She told me a lot of things, although she was worried she didn't have all the facts because she wasn't able to talk to you about it."

Eric shrugged. "What facts? I got a tape with a note and after watching the tape, I called Speed, asked for a place to stay and left. And if you want to know what was on the tape, I'm not telling you." He so did not want to have that conversation with Horatio.

Horatio took a sip from his coffee. "I know what's on the tape Eric. Ryan got one too, the same one probably. Rowen saw it and she told me what had happened."

Eric frowned. "Ryan got one too?"

Horatio nodded. "He can't remember, Eric. He doesn't remember what happened. Appearently Erica called him, said she had information about the Tempermen case and that she'd tell him everything in exchange for an exclusive interview. Ryan went, I'm not sure why, probably because he didn't want the lab to suffer any bad publicity if we'd arrested the wrong guy."

"So what?" Eric asked angrily, "it doesn't change the fact that he got drunk and slept with her!"

Horatio raised his eyebrows at him. "Eric, the reason why Ryan can't remember is because she drugged him."

Eric blinked at him. "What?"

Horatio sighed. "Rowen called me this morning and said that she'd gotten a confession out of Erica. When Ryan was in the bar where he and Erica had promised to meet, Ryan received a call, he got up from his chair and went to answer it, because he did not want Erica to interfere. The call was probably made by Erica, because all Ryan could hear was the ruffling of cloth and he didn't recognize the number. While he was gone, Erica spiked his drink."

Eric stared at Horatio, the older man looked so incredibly sure of himself and Eric knew, from first hand experience that Horatio was hardly ever wrong. Besides, he'd said that Rowen had gotten a confession out of Erica.

Horatio drained the last of his cup. "Look, I know that something like this is difficult to understand, but it's the truth, Eric."

Horatio stood and it was only then that Eric noticed that someone was approaching their table. Horatio laid his hand on Ryan's shoulder, who was looking unsure of himself, and softly squeezed before leaving. With a nervous expression on his face, Ryan sat down where Horatio had been sitting.

If Eric was honest he could admit to himself that Ryan looked like hell.

But he didn't want to be honest, he didn't want to recognize that Ryan was suffering. He wanted to hate Ryan, wanted to think of Ryan as the cheating boyfriend with no regrets. But he knew he couldn't do that, because Ryan wasn't.

The younger man sat down and ordered a beer when a waiter came to them. Eric was nursing a beer himself and they didn't talk for a long time. Ryan kept shifting in his seat and Eric drummed his fingers on the tabletop.

"Damnit Ryan! You wanted to talk so talk."

The younger man seemed startled and then nodded. "Yeah, alright, I just…never mind."

There was silence for another minute.

"I didn't lie to you so I could go out and sleep with Erica."

Eric snorted, he knew it was true, but Ryan could have just told him the real reason why he was going out. He could have just told him, but no, instead, he'd lied.

Ryan seemed to have an angry retort on his lips, but swallowed his words right before they spilled out. "No, she drugged me, I know Horatio told you. Erica even admitted to it, but she did. And…I know this probably isn't going to make everything better, but I…" He trailed off and didn't continue speaking.

He sighed to himself and closed his eyes. He didn't know what to think. He knew that they wouldn't lie to him like that, especially not Horatio, the thought alone was preposterous. But it didn't just dispell the hurt.

"Maybe we need a break." He whispered.

Ryan's head shot up. "What?"

Eric opened his eyes eand looked at the younger man. "Maybe we need a break, a permanent one."

Ryan stared at him, his mouth open. "What, what do you mean?"

Eric leaned back. "Ever since we got together, there have been all kind of things trying to rip us apart. This… maybe it just isn't meant to be."

"What? You think this is some sign or something?"

Ryan seemed to have lost all the air in his body and Eric looked away, he couldn't stand to see Ryan like this. But he couldn't go on like this either, he couldn't go on with this rollar coaster ride of emotions his relationship with Ryan had been from the start.

"I think we should walk away and just become friends, nothing more. I'll move out of the house permenantly and pick up the rest of my stuff as soon as I've found a new apartment."

Ryan reached out with one hand and grabbed Eric's, which had been resting on the table, interrupting Eric's speech. "Can't we try one more time? I mean, we can't just give up, Eric… I love you."

Eric closed his eyes against the words and nodded. His eyes opened again and he reached over the table to softly kiss Ryan. Their lips met and when Eric pulled away from the closed mouthed kiss Ryan followed him slightly, not wanting to give up the contact.

"I love you too Ryan, but I can't do this anymore. I just…need to get away from this."

"Well we can take some time off and then get back together. We can take a small break and then try again." Ryan was desperate now, pleading with Eric to reconsider, but the older man shook his head. The Cuban was tired, he'd had enough.

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore Ryan. Let's try to be friends, at least."

"But Eric…"

"No! Ryan, don't…"

"You're still angry, don't make a decision like this when you're angry."

"Ryan, it's not because I'm angry, this is just one thing in a long line of things that have been coming our way ever since we got together. I still want to be friends, but I can't be anything more."

Ryan seemed to deflate completely, sinking away in his seat. He stared at his beer, completely defeated. There didn't seem to be any strength in him left. The fire in his eyes was blown out and Eric looked away.

"So this is it." Ryan's voice said. "This is it." There was a definite note of utter disbelief in his voice.

Eric nodded and rose from his seat. He dropped a couple of notes on the table and walked out. He couldn't do it anymore, not with Ryan, not to Ryan and not to himself either. He got in his car and drove off to Speed's place.

Just friends, that was all they would be, just friends.

--- ---- ---- ----

Rowen watched with cornern filled eyes while Ryan scrubbed at the tiles of the living room floor. She didn't know if she should stop him or get down on her knees and help him get it over with. Finally she crouched down and took the cleaning suplies out of his hands, wrapping her own fingers around his palms.

"Ryan…"

He stilled completely, his body freezing and he ducked his face down, hiding his emotions. She bit her lip and lifted up his chin with her fingers. He slowly relaxed and leaned back on his heels.

"He ended it. He ended it completely, he just walked away. It's all over. He's going to find his own place, he's going to move out, change his adress and everything. He wants to be just friends and nothing more."

His voice was flat, devoid of emotion and Rowen didn't know what to say. She lifted her hand and brushed back, or tried to brush back, some of his hair. She kissed his forehead and pulled him into her arms.

He didn't cry, he just went lax and didn't move again. She got him to bed and then went back downstairs to clean up the stuff Ryan had been using to obsessively clean his living room. She went back upstairs and peeked into the room to find Ryan staring at the ceiling, he wasn't blinking.

She went back downstairs and grabbed the phone, dialing a familiar number.

"Caine."

"Hey, Horatio, it's me…Listen, I'm going to stay at Ryan's place tonight."

"What happened?" His voice was concerned.

"They broke up, for good this time or so it seems. Ryan's eum… pretty upset, you don't mind that I stay to look after him?"

"Of course not."

She smiled. "Alright, I'll talk to you later, bye."

"Bye."

She hung up and put the phone back in its receiver. She sighed and went back up the stairs. She laid down on the bed so she was next to Ryan and wrapped her arms around him. Neither of them slept that night.

TBC

Author's Note: Well, this is the last chapter that I've posted for at least a periode of Ten Days. Yes, ten days. I'm going on a language camp to Leeds for ten days and I won't be able to post anything while I'm there. I apologize for not being able to post the next chapter sooner, considering that everything is already written. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, greets Swift tales!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Ryan watched, leaning against the doorframe, as Eric packed up his belongings in brown, carton boxes. All the small little things in the nightstand on Eric's side of the bed were packed away. All the clothes that had still been in the washer when Eric had left that day were gathered and packed away as well.

All the magazines Eric was sucscribed to, his books, his CD's and DVD's were all packed up and taken away. All the small memento's strewn around their home that Eric had brought with him disappeared again. And Ryan just watched it all happen, he watched the items being put away in the boxes and he watched as Eric slowly, but surely removed the signs that he had ever lived there.

Eric had found a place surprisingly quickly, it had only taken him two weeks, and Ryan wondered how he'd gotten enough money together so quickly. But he decided not to ask, it wasn't his place, not anymore. Sometimes when he allowed himself to think about it, he wondered if perhaps Eric was right and that they were simply not meant to be and that this was the final stepping stone fate had put in their way to try to make them see reason.

Eric wasn't looking at him and Ryan could understand, if the Cuban felt anything like Ryan was feeling. He had a splitting headache and his heart was beating wildly against his ribcage. His eyes were threatening to spill over with tears, tears Ryan refused to shed in front of Eric, he still had some of his pride after all, even though he'd practically begged Eric not to give up on them in Chill Rivers, which probably hadn't been the best place to go about it.

When Eric rose to his feet, a box in his arms, Ryan quickly looked away. He didn't want Eric to know he'd been staring at him, although the Cuban had probably felt his gaze burning into his back. It wouldn't surprise Ryan, not with the intensity he'd been studying the Cuban.

He'd been trying to see, to distinguish a sign of some sort that Eric was sorry about the decision he'd made. But all he'd seen was a quiet sort of determination and resignation. It had almost killed him to see Eric and not being able to touch him, to reach out to him.

And the worst thing was, Eric wanted to stay friends and to be friendly towards each other and Ryan would do anything Eric wanted. But it would have been so much easier if he was allowed to hate Eric, even if Ryan didn't have any reason to. It would be so much easier to hate him, then to love him until it drove him sick with need and want and despair.

It drowned him, clogged up his throat until he thought he would choke on his love for Eric. And there was nothing he could do, nothing at all. You couldn't stop loving someone just because you wanted to, it didn't work like that and Ryan thought that he'd probably never really stop loving Eric.

Maybe, over time, his heart would finally be able to move on and his feelings for Eric wouldn't be as intense and overwhelming, not like they were now, like a current, sweeping him away. Maybe he would be able to move on, sometime.

He highly doubted it. He doubted that he'd ever find anyone like Eric, someone who could make him feel alive and wanted and loved like Eric could. He doubted he'd find anyone willing to put up with his OCD and with his love and devotion to Rowen. There was no one else, there would be no one else quite like Eric.

Eric pushed past him, out of their bedroom and into the hall, down the stairs and to his car outside. Ryan followed him, watching from the doorway as Eric put the last of the boxes in the trunk of his car and slammed it shut.

There was a moment of silence between them and Ryan realized that it would probably be like that for quite some time before they could act like semi-friends again. Eric shuffled his feet and Ryan looked at the ground.

With a sigh Eric approached him and they wrapped their arms around eachother. Ryan buried his face in Eric's shoulder and Eric leaned his head against Ryan's. He closed his eyes and kissed the younger man's dark hair. They parted slightly and kissed, slowly, warmly, and abruptly Eric pulled back and walked away.

He got in the car and drove away. Ryan watched him go and looked out into the street even after Eric was long gone. They had said their goodbye's and while Ryan had wanted it to be longer, had wanted to stretch the moment as long as possible, Eric had broken it off and walked away.

He went back inside the house and flopped down on the couch in front of the tv. There wasn't anything else to do. Rowen had offered to be there that day, but Ryan had said that she should stay home and spend some time with her husband to be. After all, she still had a wedding to plan.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax, to release some of the tension swirling inside his chest. He hated love, absolutely hated it. There was no way he was going to give his heart away ever again, not with the way it had hurt him now. There was absolutely no way.

He was just about to drift into an uneasy slumber when his cellphone rang and jarred him out of his sleepy state. He sat up straight and fumbled for the phone, flipping it open and pressing it to the side of his face.

"Hello?"

"Ryan."

He recognized the voice immediately and hatred, dark and vengeful, crawled up his spine.

"What do you want Erica?"

His voice was an icecold fury. He hated her! He hated her more then he'd ever hated anyone before. He'd hated Calleigh, for what she'd done to him, had hated her. But there had been an odd sort of pity mixed up in that as well.

But there was nothing like that left for Erica, oh no. He hated her like he'd never hate anyone ever again. She'd messed it all up, he and Eric could have been, would have been happy together if it wasn't for her. He would have had Eric, the Cuban wouldn't have gotten that crazy idea about fate intervening into his head. It was all her fault.

"Ryan, I need to talk to you."

How dare she? How dare she tell him that she needed to talk to him, after what she'd done to him? How dare she?

"Well that's too bad because I don't want to talk to you ever again!"

"Ryan, you don't understand." Her voice was pleading now, but he disregarded it.

"I don't care! I don't want to understand! Leave me alone!"

He flipped the phone shut and clenched it in his fist, breathing heavily. Only now was he aware of how loud he'd shouted his words into the phone. It started ringing again and one look at the display showed him who it was.

He saw red and threw it at the wall, watching it shatter and break in satisfaction. He didn't want to talk to Erica and he wasn't going to. And that was that. So what if he had to get a new phone?

He flopped back down on the couch and sighed. All he wanted right now, was to fall asleep and dream away his sorrow. Or to to let the tears stream down his cheek until his eyes were red and aching and there weren't any tears left inside of him. Whichever came first, Ryan didn't particularly care.

He was asleep when the doorbell rang and he groaned, deciding to just ignore it for once, his OCD mercifully silent in the face of his overwhelming emotions. But the person at the door was persistent and was still ringing his doorbell, leaning against it so the sound wouldn't let up, after fifteen minutes.

He finally got up and went to open door. The minute he saw the face of the other person in front of him, he moved to slam it shut again, but Erica's words stopped him.

"Ryan, I'm pregnant."

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: I know I just posted Chapter Sixteen, but I have a wee problem, I made a mistake and I forgot to post this yesterday after I got home from Leeds and when I wanted to post Chapter Seventeen I realized my mistake, so I decided I'd quickly update both chapters, but hey! I'm sure you guys don't mind :p

Chapter Seventeen

He stared at her, his mouth lax and hanging wide open. Erica shifted from one foot to another, slowly starting to look angry and finally, when no respone was forthcoming, she exploded.

"Are you going to say something or are you just going to keep staring at me!"

Ryan shook himself and immediatley reacted with anger himself. "And you're claiming it's mine?"

Outraged she smacked him in the face, causing his head to snap back to the left. "Of course its yours! I don't make a habbit of sleeping around."

"Do you make a habbit of drugging men so they'll sleep with you?" He snapped.

She raised her hand to smack him again but he grabbed her wrist in a tight hold, a dark part of him relishing in the pain on her face. He pulled her closer and leaned forward, looming over her threateningly. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" He hissed at her.

She struggled in his grasp but he only tightened his hold, until his fingers were white with tension around her small wrist. "You have ruined everything. You've ruined my life." His eyes flashed. "There is no one in the entire world, who hates you more then I do. Don't even think about pissing me off."

Slowly, he released her wrist. "Now, is it mine?"

She nodded. "Yes." Her voice was nothing more then a whisper. She looked absolutely terrified and he was severely tempted to slam the door in her face and tell her to deal with it on her own, or to get an abortion, he didn't care.

But, a small voice whispered in his ear, he did care. She was pregnant, with his child, his child. How could he tell her to get an abortion? How could he tell her to deal with it on her own? He growled in frustration and opened the door wider.

"Fine, come on in. And don't think I'm just taking your word for it, I want a paternity test. We'll go to a doctor and ask her to perform a paternity test with an independant lab." His voice left no room for argument and Erica nodded weakly.

It seemed he'd shocked her into submission with his anger. He couldn't believe it, maybe if he'd lost his temper with her, really lost his temper with her years ago, maybe she would have backed off then and he would still be with Eric now.

"And if it's positive?" She asked.

Ryan looked away and frowned. What would he do? Did he want Erica to get an abortion? No. Did he want to raise a child along with Erica? Definitely no. Did he want Erica to raise his child? Hell no! He didn't want to let her anywhere near his child.

But what could he do then? He could take the child and raise him or her on his own, but how would he get rid of Erica? He shook his head, what the hell was he thinking? Raising a child on his own? He didn't know anything about raising children.

But could he really leave a child with a woman who was willing to drug a man to have sex with her? But did Ryan even want a child with Erica? Could he raise a child that would be a constant reminder of what she did to him that night?

"I don't know what we're going to do if it's positive." Ryan finally said, finding his voice from somewhere. "We'll see what happens if it's positive."

Erica suddenly seemed to find her anger again. "When it's positive! You're the father Ryan! I sugest that you get used to it."

He glared at her. "It's not my fault you're pregnant, it's definitely not my fault!" His voice was dangerously low and she took a step back, looking away.

He glared at her. How dare she look so vulnerable and scared. She didn't have any right to, not any right at all. "Get out, make an appointment with your doctor to see when you can have a paternity test done and ask when I have to show up to get some of my DNA collected. Give me a call, but I don't want to talk about this now."

"Ryan…"

"Get out! Get out!" He couldn't remember ever yelling so loud and she almost tripped over her own feet trying to leave the house fast enough. He was breathing heavily and he could feel panic setting in. He grabbed the cordless phone from his home line and pressed the speed dial on number one.

He needed help, needed someone to talk to and there was only one person he trusted around himself when he was like this.

"Hello?"

"Rowen? It's Ryan, I need to talk to you, it's urgent, really urgent. I need…I …"

"Ryan! Ryan, calm down, I'll come over right now, alright. I'll be right there. Just, relax and breath."

She hung up and he dropped the phone on the floor, flopping down into the couch. He tried to breath, but he was fast on his way to getting a full blown panic attack and freaking out. He couldn't breath and slowly, his sight started to grow fuzzy around the edges.

He was close to passing out when hands pressed him into the couch and stroked his hair. "It's okay, Ryan, it's okay. Just take deep breaths, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Come on sweetie, I know you can do it."

And he tried to concentrate, listened to the voice until slowly his lunges filled up with air again and he could breathe. His sight cleared up again and he looked up to find Rowen looking down on him, concern in her eyes.

"You alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine now."

She was sat down beside him and frowned. "What's wrong? What got you so worked up? Did Eric say something? Did something happen?"

Ryan quickly shook his head. "No! It's not Eric's fault, he didn't do anything. He just… packed his stuff and left."

"Then what happened?" She asked, curiosity and concern all mixed up in one package.

"It was Erica, she stopped by."

Rowen's eyes darkened and her face was like thunder. "What did she say?"

"She says she's pregnant, she says it's mine."

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

When Ryan had told her the news, Rowen had exploded. She'd screamed and yelled and cursed profanities Ryan wasn't sure were anatomically possible. When she'd finally calmed down enough, she'd asked him to go over the story again and he had.

He'd told her about what he'd told Erica to do, about the paternity test and Rowen had nodded in approval. "That'll only be possible in a few weeks though, when she's far enough along for the foetus to have shed some skincells into the uteruswater. It'll take another four weeks tops."

Ryan groaned and dropped his head in his hands. "What am I going to do now?"

Rowen sighed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I don't know what you should do, you have to think long and hard about this Ryan. Do you want this child?"

Ryan stood and started pacing. "I don't know! Yes, I have always entertained the notion of having children and even after I found out I was gay, I thought that maybe I could ask a birthmother to carry my child for me or something. When Eric and I…. I never brought up the subject. And now…"

"This is Erica, Rowen. Erica! Do I want a child with Erica? No! And this child… It wasn't concieved with love or anything of the sort! She raped me, Rowen! Raped me! How can I raise a child that will always remind me of what she did to me?"

Rowen stood as well and placed her hands on his shoulders, to stop him from pacing any further. "Ryan, listen to me and listen very carefully, because this is important. This child is yours just as much as it is Erica's. Whether you want to be a part of its life, is your choice. Yes, it is a difficult choice, one that will mess around with your values and your beliefs, but in the end, it's a decision you have to make."

Ryan bowed his head. "If I'm a part of this child's life, then I'll have to be civil with Erica, won't I?"

Rowen nodded. "I think so."

Ryan sighed and wrapped his arms around Rowen's waist, pulling her closer and hugging her tight. "I never wanted a child with Erica, but I do want a child."

Rowen smiled sadly. "Sometimes fate makes decisions for us. The only choice we get is how we react to it."

"But what if I come to hate it? What if I can't get the fact that this baby is a product of Erica drugging me so I'll sleep with her out of my head? What then? What if I…"

Rowen's eyes widened. "Ryan! You can't seriously believe that if you have a baby you'll hurt him or her."

"I don't know! I don't want to hurt him or her, but what if I do? What if I do because I hate…"

"You hate Erica! Not that child."

"What child? At this time there isn't really a child yet!"

Rowen groaned and rubbed her temples and Ryan sighed. "I'm sorry, I just don't…"

"I know, I know." Rowen said and pulled him back in for a hug.

Two hours later, both strengthened with coffee and pancakes, they sat across from eachother at the kitchen table. "You're going to have to talk with Erica about this. You need to know what she is going to do, before you can make a final decision."

"We're going to have to come to some sort of agreement together." Ryan agreed, sipping from his mug.

Rowen slowly stood. "Now, I have to go back to Horatio. Call me when you've talked to Erica, alright."

"I'll probably talk to her tomorrow, it'll be Sunday and I'll have plenty of time and I doubt she'll be working."

Rowen nodded and then kissed his cheek. "I love you Ryan. You know that right?"

Ryan smiled. "Of course I do. I love you too. Now go on, go, back to your husband-to-be."

Rowen grinned and after one more kiss on Ryan's cheek, she left. When she was out the door and he was alone, he released a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. He stared at the tabletop for a while before slowly getting up.

It was already getting late and Ryan flopped down on the couch, turning on the tv and flipping through the channels. He paused briefly when Erica's face popped up and he glowered at her radiant smile before changing the channel. He hated her, oh how he hated her.

Finding nothing to catch his interest, he turned off the TV and debated reading a book. However, there was nothing on the shelves he was in the mood for and he didn't feel like listening to any kind of music either.

He went up the stairs and then to his bedroom. Digging through the closet, he undressed and then pulled on something to wear for bed. With a sigh of relief he slid beneath the clean sheets and tried to relax.

It was only now, when he allowed his mind to calm down that he realized how emotionally drained he felt, how exhaustred. With Eric leaving and Erica turning out to be pregnant and finding out that she drugged him and … He buried his head in the pillow and released a deep breath.

He was tired, so very tired. Why did everything always had to happen to him? Why couldn't Erica have fallen in love or in lust or in whatever with someone else? Why couldn't she have drugged someone else to sleep with? Why? Why did it have to be him?

And why, for the love of God, did she have to get pregnant? Didn't she take the pill or something? And if she'd planned everything, why hadn't she thought about making sure they used a condom? Why did he all of a sudden have a child growing in the womb of a woman he didn't love? Why did he have to make the decision?

Wouldn't it have been so much easier if she'd just gotten an abortion or something without telling him that she'd been pregnant with his child? Wouldn't that have been easier? But Ryan couldn't get himself to really contemplate that thought, he didn't want to know whether he'd be happier not knowing. He knew now and there was nothing he could do.

He looked to his side, where Eric would normally be sleeping and reached out with one hand and pressed it into the soft fabric of the pillow. The bed felt empty and far too big. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and quickly snatched his hand back. He stubbornly turned his back on the empty side and closed his eyes.

God, he wished Eric was here, wished that he could bury himself in the other man's warm embrace and simply hide from the world. He wished he could feel Eric's strong chest against his back. He wished he could feel Eric's soothing kisses along his jaw and throat.

He stomped the pillow with his fist. Why? Why did Eric have to leave? But he knew why. Eric had had enough, he'd been sick and tired of everything always ruining their lives and messing with their heads.

And Ryan could understand, he could, he just didn't want it to be true. He wished that Eric was still willing to fight for them. He wished Eric was here with him, together. He wished none of this had ever happened.

Against his will tears started sliding down his cheek. He felt so tired, so miserable. He felt used, violated because of what Erica had done to him. He felt so alone, utterly alone now Eric had left him. He felt like he was going to be sick at the thought of Erica carying his baby.

He was a wreck, an emotional wreck. He closed his eyes tightely and curled tighter in on himself, trying to find a sense of comfort as he wrapped his arms around his body in a self-hug. He bit his lip as a sob threatened to curl up his throat and exit through his mouth. He shivered as a wave of cold dread rolled through his body.

How had everything come to this? His life had been perfect, absolutely perfect. He'd been blissfully happy with Eric. Yes, there had been arguments and fights. Yes, they'd said things to each other that they regretted later. Yes, they'd hurt each other. But despite all of that they'd been so happy, so blissfully happy.

He'd give anything to feel that way again.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Are you serious?" Ryan asked, disbelief colouring his words. He stared at her from across the table and didn't know what else to say.

Erica shifted in her seat and gave him an angry glare. "Of course I'm serious. I don't want any children, therefore I'm having an abortion. Do you really think a child will help me get that job in Atlanta? Do you think being a mother to some whiny brat is going to further my carreer? I don't think so Ryan!"

He stared at her, unable to say anything. Erica toyed with a string of her hair, which was loose and falling around her shoulders. They were at her place, a big apartment with a killer view of Miami. Ryan had gone to see her, as he'd told Rowen he would and right now he wasn't sure whether it had been such a good idea.

"I can't go around playing mother to some brat alright? I don't want this baby, an abortion would be easier for all of us. I mean, do you really want to go around and be a daddy? Do you really want children?" She snorted in disgust.

Ryan calmly gazed. "What if I do?"

She stared at him. "What?" She shrieked.

"I want this baby, I have always wanted children, Erica. I have thought hard about this since last night and I've decided that I want this baby. However, I don't want you to have anything to do with this."

She blinked. "What?"

"You said you were absolutely sure that the paternity test will prove that I'm the father. I'm not saying I believe you, but I'm willing to take your word for it. Besides, I already called a friend of Rowen's at the CHP to schedule a paternity test."

The CHP, or the Central Health Power was mostly a research centre that only took a limited number of clientel, often with progressive or incurable disseases. However they also had a free clinic with separate staff and a suberp Gynaecology department. The CHP had a large staff-number, allowing doctor's to be far more involved and personal with their patients as they handled a smaller number then in normal hospitals. Rowen did four five-hour shifts per week in the free clinic as a pediatrician and had six long-term patients.

"The paternity test will prove that you're the father Ryan. You'll see. I'll have to be seventeen weeks along before there'll be any kind of test possible, which is in fifteen weeks. But you're the father Ryan. There is no mistake. I haven't had sex in quite some time, that night with you was the only possibility for me to get pregnant."

"Unless you stole some sperm from some other guy and had invitro furtilezation or something."

Erica's shock at his words was almost palable. She stared at him, her mouth wide while her features slowly contorted into a look of rage. "How dare you! I .."

Ryan cut her off. "You drugged me so I would have sex with you Erica! That's rape and the only reason I'm not charging you is because I don't want to go through all the hassle, because you're appearently pregnant and because I can't prove anything. But right now I think you're capable of anything to get what you want."

"Didn't you hear me? I don't want this baby!"

"No, but if Eric hadn't left me, this would have been another nice try of breaking us up!"

Ryan immediately fell silent after his words. He hadn't told Erica that he and Eric had split up, never in so many words and never in a situation where she'd have enough time to throw it in his face or enough time to think about it. Everyone in the lab who knew about them, knew that they weren't an item anymore, but besides that Ryan hadn't told anyone, because who was there to tell?

But he hadn't wanted Erica to know, he hadn't wanted to give her the satisfaction that she'd succeeded in breaking them up, but it seemed that now the cat was out of the bag. She had a smug smile on her face now and it took all the self control he had to not smash his fist into her face. But Ryan Wolfe didn't go around hitting women, not matter what they might have done.

"So, he left you then? Didn't even want to listen to your story about me drugging you?" Her voice was shaking with barely contained glee and Ryan could feel the hatred, the anger bubbling to the surface again.

He slammed his fist again the table, watching how she jumped back and slightly shrunk in on herself. "Don't you ever say something like that again. Do you hear me?" He hissed at her and she nodded.

He took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat, once again calm. "Alright, carry the child full term. After that you'll turn the custody papers over to me. I'll be the sole guardian. You'll terminate your parental rights. I don't want my child to have any contact with you at all, so if you all of a sudden decide you want to see your child, forget about it. Of course, if she or he wants to meet you I won't stop her or him."

With that he rose from his seat and made his way to the door. "You have your first doctor's appointment at the CHP Friday two weeks from now, I'll come and pick you up at around three o'clock. We're going to do this my way Erica, and if you even think of getting an abortion behind my back, you'll be sorry."

His tone was menacing enough to make her shake and she nodded timidly. He glared at her one more time, getting his message across. "Erica, if this is not my child and you're lying to me, I'll find a way to make sure that you'll never get that job in Atlanta. If you are lying to me or if there is even the smallest chance that this is not my child, this is the time to tell me."

She looked at him, a hint of fear in her eyes yet a look of stubborn determination on her face. "It's your baby."

With one more nod he turned around, opened the door and left. By the time he was home again, his hands were shaking and he had some trouble getting out of his car. He stumbled to his door and in his state neglected to recognize the car parked in the driveway. He opened the front door and almost fell through the doorway.

When the door closed behind him, he sank down on the floor, staring away into nothing. His mind was spinning, trying to grasp everything that was happening to him. He could already feel a panic attack coming on and he quickly tried to supress it.

"Hey Ryan, I just came by to get my …Ryan!"

He could feel big hands grasping his shoulders and pulling him upright. He was turned around with his back against a strong chest. "Breathe Ryan, just breathe."

He nodded and slowly his breathing went back to normal until he could feel the strong body wrapped around his own. He started shaking again, not out of panic, but out of need, a twisting, sharp need that bubbled hotly in his stomach. He recognized that body anywhere, the feel of it against his own. He almost moaned with longing, he had missed this.

But then his brain caught up with him and he quickly pulled himself away. He couldn't have it again, not again. He turned to look at the dark-haired man and almost had to tear his eyes away so he wouldn't throw himself into the other man's arms.

"Eric." Ryan said.

"Hey Ryan. Are you alright?"

The concern made him angry again. How could Eric wonder if he was alright when Eric had left him? He gritted his teeth and pushed past him. "I'm fine Eric! I'm absolutely fine."

"Well you don't seem fine." Eric said, his voice monotone as he followed Ryan to the kitchen.

Ryan turned to him. "Of course I'm not really fine Eric! How do you think I feel now you've left? Do you think I'd just move on with my life after I've spent the last three years loving you so desperately I almost couldn't breathe! How do you think I…" He trailed off and his anger disappeared, leaving him tired and weary and utterly exhausted. He took one look at Eric's face and winced. The expression on the Cuban's face was a mixture of pain, anger, and something Ryan didn't want to name.

He sank down on a kitchen chair and burried his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Eric. I'm just so…angry at everything. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Ryan…we're still friends… it's not that I don't care about you, because I do."

Ryan wanted to yell that he wanted Eric to love him. "It's not about you, not entirely. Something happened and I… I just took it out on you."

"Tell me what's wrong." Eric said, sitting down as well. Ryan flinched as their shoulders briefly brushed against each other. Ryan sighed and looked up at him, seeing nothing but sincere concern. Taking a deep breath, he started to tell Eric about everything that had happened.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"So now you're going to take care of a child on your own?" Eric asked, his voice coloured with disbelief and astonishment. Ryan simply nodded, too tired from talking and heartache and misery and being angry that he could no longer do anything more. He didn't want to deal with this, not now not ever.

He rested his head on the kitchentable while he listened to Eric pacing back and forth across the kitchenfloor. Then finally the Cuban sat down beside him and there was silence. He could feel a hand carding through his hair and he was too tired to object. He didn't want Eric to touch him anymore, but at the same time he craved it so deeply it was an ache in his chest.

He looked up and Eric's hand fell from his hair to curl around the back of his throat. Ryan closed his eyes and pulled away, rising from his seat. "I think you should go." Ryan said, he couldn't allow himself to be like this around Eric. If he did, the want would consume him until he'd fall to his knees and beg Eric to take him back.

Eric nodded and stood as well. Ryan followed him to let him out. "Why were you here actually?"

Eric shrugged and waved his left hand, holding a CD. "I needed to pick up a CD that I left behind. And I wanted to give you back your key."

Ryan nodded and looked away, it was too painful, way too painful. "Ryan…" Eric whispered, something akin to pain in his voice, but Ryan couldn't smile and pretend he was alright just to make Eric feel better. He was too tired, too heartbroken to pretend.

He could feel a hand on his shoulder and he closed his eyes. Another hand rested slightly on the junction of his shoulder and his throat. Then suddenly, warm breath on his face and Ryan looked up and opened his eyes. Eric was rigth in front of him, so close, so very close. And Ryan wanted nothing more then to reach out and take Eric's mouth with his own.

But he didn't and he pulled away, extracting himself from Eric's hands and fingers. There was a lost look in Eric's eyes now and he seemed to be unsure of himself, while his hands still hung around the space Ryan had just vacated, as if he wasn't sure where to put them now that Ryan wasn't in his arms anymore.

Then he lowered his arms to his side and shrugged, uncomfortable. Ryan looked away, not able to look at him. Eric took a deep breath and then turned away. "Alright, I should get going."

Ryan nodded, eventhough Eric couldn't see him. "Yeah."

They said their goodbye's and then Eric left, the door closing behind him and Ryan simply stood there, staring at the door, his fingers curling around the cool metal of the key in his hand, the key Eric had returned.

He sighed and moved away, back to the kitchen where he made himself a cup of coffee and took a sip. He needed to get Eric out of his mind. He needed to focus on something else.

He needed to drown himself in something else and forget about Eric, that way he could, maybe, find it in himself to behave normally towards Eric. He nodded to himself, yes. He was going to be a father, it was better if he focused on that.

He'd need to make all kinds of preparations and he'd definitely need to talk to Rowen, she knew tons of stuff about babies, simply because she'd always wanted them, had yearned for them and she was a pediatrician, she knew all about kids. He'd probably had to get the spare room redecorated too, or something like that, turn it into a nursery.

He sighed, he'd think about that tomorrow, the only thing he wanted now was to sleep the rest of the day away and the rest of the night, until the following day came and he could face it all again. He just needed to close himself off for awhile, regroup, compose himself. After that, everything would be alright, it would be alright.

And that's what he did. For the rest of the day he didn't talk to anyone. He only briefly told Rowen what had happened during his meeting with Erica when she called him to ask how it went. But after that he simply cleaned every room in his house and thought.

He organized his thoughts until he could put them away in different boxes in his head. All his feelings for Eric were put away in the box labelled, Longing. He wouldn't be able to forget Eric for a long time and only time would help him to get over Eric and move on with his life, if that was even possible.

His feelings about what Erica had done to him, the violation of his body and his mind, the disrespect about his wishes, the sheer force off her desire to control him was put away in a box labelled Erica. He'd hate her for what she'd done to him for the rest of his life, he'd loath her very existence until the day he died.

His feelings about the child that was growing inside of Erica, his child, were put away in the box labelled Unsure. He had decided he was going to raise the child, if it was his, but he wasn't entirely sure yet how to feel about it. He'd take it out and examine it later, when he had the emotional capacity to deal with it.

When he went to work again it wasn't easy to face Eric, his feelings often escaped from their box, pressing against the forefront of his mind. They stayed away from eachother as much as possible and Horatio, bless him, often assigned them different cases so they didn't run into eachother all that much. He had a sneaky suspicion that Rowen had something to do with that, although she denied it when he asked her.

If they did happen to run into eachother they were professional and polite and sometimes managed to exchange some friendly banter. It wasn't how it used to be, before they'd become lovers and it certainly wasn't the way it had been while they were lovers, it was new and Ryan still had to learn to like it, he was only able to tolerate it.

He missed Eric, missed having a warm body beside him at night, missed having someone to talk to who wasn't Rowen, missed Eric's laughter and his sharp wit. He missed talking to Eric, simply talking about all kinds of stuff that didn't really mean anything. He missed Eric in his life, missed the wonderful lover the Cuban had been. He even missed their arguments and their fights and the way Eric almost never cleaned anything up. Eric had left behind a huge, gaping hole in Ryan's life and Ryan didn't know how to fill it up again.

Rowen came by often, she helped him pick out new colours to paint the guest room in, which was now going be a room for a baby. She helped him pick out furniture and loaned him a few books on parenting.

In turn he helped her plan the party for her wedding. She and Horatio had settled on a date together for an appointment at city hall. They weren't going to go away for their honeymoon, according to Rowen Miami was a honeymoon place anyway. But she and Horatio had both taken two weeks off from work and would simply enjoy their time together.

While they were planning the party afterwards, Rowen was debating with him how she was going to warn Horatio about her parents coming to town.

"So, you're sure they're coming?" Ryan asked again and she nodded, wringing her hands together.

"Have you told Horatio yet?" Ryan asked.

Rowen shook her head. "I haven't told him yet. I don't know how, I mean…they're my parents, they're ….not nice. You've met them, you'd know."

Ryan shrugged and held up his hands. "Hey, don't drag me into this. Parental relationships are complicated. You just need to talk to Horatio about this, I mean, he is you're husband to be."

Rowen groaned. "But I don't want to talk to Horatio about it, in fact, I had been counting on never having to talk to Horatio about it. I had expected them to simply ignore the invitation. I mean, they haven't been interested in my life ever since I decided I was going to be a children's doctor and not a famous brainsurgeon, who would be invited to all sorts of social gatherings and would be polite and kind and absolutely boring. Why would they all of a sudden take an interest now?"

Ryan shrugged. "Maybe they want to meet Horatio? I mean, the man is going to be the husband to their daugther and the father to their grandchildren. Maybe they're curious. Or maybe they want to get back in contact with you and they see this as their chance to re-establish your relationship."

Rowen huffed. "There is nothing to re-establish, we never had a relationship to start with."

Ryan gave her a look.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll talk to Horatio about it and I'll even be polite and all nice-like when they get here. But one word about you being gay and a 'faggot' and the gloves come off!"

Ryan shook his head, "It won't be so bad."

TBC 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It was raining on the wedding day and it made Rowen smile and announce for everyone to hear that it was a sign of good luck. She was beautiful in her dress and she had decided to go for pink lipgloss and light blue eyeshadow with black mascara. Her hair was done up and there were white lilies amongst her brown locks. Ryan didn't think he'd ever seen her look so beautiful.

Horatio had looked stunned for several minutes until he'd smiled broadly and taken her into his arms. The Lieutenant looked quite handsome as well, in a black suit with a white shirt and grey tie striped with silver.

Two weeks before the wedding Rowen had taken Ryan out shopping again and had convinced him to buy a navy blue suit with a soft sky blue shirt and a white tie. Eric had decided to put on a black suit with a pink shirt and to forgo the tie.

A week before the wedding, she'd showed up at Ryan's place, in a state of complete panic.

Ryan had tried to calm her down as much as you could calm down Rowen, but she wasn't listening to him and she was wailing about how Horatio had to be crazy to marry her and that he'd demand a divorce after the first week.

"I know we practically live together and everything but we're gonna get married! And I'm crazy and I leave my paperwork till the very last minute and I suck at cooking anything besides waffles or maybe pancakes. And I cackle and I watch cartoons and silly movies and I read corny books and he's going to see all of that!"

Her rant left her slightly breathless as she was sitting on his couch with a bucket of ice cream in her lap. He'd sat down beside her and had allowed her to cry on his shoulder and go nuts. After a while, he'd wipped away her tears, had smiled and said: "He loves you, Rowen."

The ceremony at city hall had been quiet and simple and beautiful and Rowen had been grinning and glowing and Horatio had smiled widely when he kissed his wife. They had rented a ballroom in the Miami Shoreline Hotel for the party and there were waiters going around carrying drinks and empty glasses back and forth.

There were a few people there already, people from the lab and from Rowen's job at the CHP, including Amanda Damien, who was Erica's gynaecologist. There were also a few friends out of work and a few family members. Yelina and Ray Junior, who had returned from Rio when Ray had died, for real, had already said their congratulations and if there had been some strain on Yelina's smile Rowen had ignored it.

At the moment, the happy bride was not quite so happy. She was chewing on the nail of her pointy finger and was nervously tapping her foot on the hardwoord floor. Horatio smiled softly and took her hand, forcing it away from her mouth and tangling their fingers together before kissing the back of her hand.

"It'll be fine." He assured her, softly, his eyes shining.

Rowen groaned and buried her face in his shoulder. "That's what you think! But you don't know them like I do, you've never even met them. They're horrible, I haven't spoken to them since they left Miami and moved to Fort Lauderdale."

Horatio rubbed her back and Rowen sighed. "They hated Ryan ever since they met him, thought he was a freak with his OCD and then they hated him even more when we broke up because he was gay. They hated me because I wasn't polite and nice and quiet-like, they hated me even more when I smashed their dreams of having a famous brainsurgeon as a child. They even wanted to be to become a lawyer at some point so that I could become a judge or something."

Horatio chuckled and Rowen pulled away and smacked his shoulder lightly. "This is no laughing matter, it's the truth! And they're going to hate you because I love you, it's what they do."

"Rowen." Horatio murmured and he pulled her closer for a kiss. She went willingly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

They broke apart by someone clearing their throat and Rowen muttered; "Figures."

They faced an elderly looking couple. The woman was dressed in an elegant and simple dark green dress, she had a kind face although her mouth was set in a thin line. She had black hair pinned up in a knot in the back of her neck. The man was dressed in a charcoal grey suit with a white shirt and a black tie. He had light blond hair and a smile on his face which could or could not be fake. The man was tall, definitely a head taller than Horatio and the woman was short, like Rowen.

Rowen plastered a wide and fake smile on her face. "Mom… Dad." Her voice was strained and she reluctantly left Horatio's arms to hug her parents. They hugged her back stiffly.

"Mom, this is Horatio. Horatio, this is my mom, Elaine Descamps. Dad, this is Horatio. Horatio, this is my dad, Robert Descamps."

They shook hands and there was a brief moment of akward silence until Rowen cleared her throat nervously. "So how was the ride over here? Not to many problems with trafic or something?"

Horatio was slightly surprised at his wife's attempts at small talk, Rowen wasn't the person for it. And it seemed that neither were her parents, because the conversation died again with one short answer.

"Mr. and Mrs. Descamps." A voice said and the couple turned around to see Ryan, who had a disarming smile on his face. He had adopted an odd stance, with his hip sticking out to one side and in his hand in his waist on the other side. There was something eerily queer about him that Horatio had never seen before.

Robert stiffened slightly and nodded. "Mr. Wolfe, how…nice to see you again."

"Why, it's nice to see you to, Mr. Descamps and Mrs. Descamps, always a pleasure." Ryan winked made an odd move with his hips and then promptly stepped forward and grabbed Horatio's arm.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Horatio's presence is demanded elsewhere. I'll see you later Rowen and, congratulations again."

And with that he pulled Horatio along until they were standing near the bar. Ryan shook his head and seemed to go back to his normal self. "Sorry, H, but Rowen made me promise to come and save you when things got too akward."

Horatio shrugged. "That's alright. Have things always been so awkward between Rowen and her parents?"

They idly watched as Rowen and her parents conversed with each other, Rowen making elaborate gestures with her hands and her parents talking quietly, seemingly trying to calm her down.

Ryan shrugged. "Ever since I can remember, Rowen hasn't gotten along with her parents. Her parents are too uptight and Rowen is too wild in comparison. They'd written her entire life out for her and when Rowen refused to play the part… well, it wasn't pretty."

"But they're not really that bad you know, they're just really old-fashioned and Rowen doesn't know how to deal with that. They clash horribly. I'm sure they love Rowen verry much, but they just don't know how to deal with her. Family relationships are complicated, and I'm not going to pretend that I know exactly what the deal is between Rowen and her parents."

"But I do think that she exagerates at some point. It's true that they don't like me very much because of my sexual preferences and before that they never like me because of my OCD. It's just that they don't know how to deal with anything that's not normal and Rowen is the complete opposite."

Horatio nodded as Rowen seemed to work herself into a royal snit and than stormed off, towards them. Her cheeks were flushed and her hands were curled into fists. Horatio quickly pulled her into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"I hate them." She whispered.

Ryan grimaced to Horatio behind her back. She pulled away and sighed. "They were all, 'he's too old for you' and 'do you really want to marry a cop?' and 'Red hair? What were you thinking,'" She bristled. "I love you, shouldn't that be enough?"

Horatio smiled and kissed her gently. They leaned their foreheads together. "It should be."

Ryan smiled at them.

"Hey guys save some for the wedding night." Eric said as he came to stand next to Ryan, a glass of champagne in his hand. Rowen grinned and Horatio chuckled.

The party went on for several hours, with Robert Descamps cornering Horatio at some point. Rowen observed their exchange from the other side of the room with Eric holding her back. The red-haired man seemed to handle himself fine and Eric knew that this was something that they had to get out of way.

When ten minutes later Elaine joined her husband and Horatio, Rowen almost panicked and Ryan had to step in to calm her down. Horatio quickly returned after, failing to omit what had been said between Rowen's parents and himself and merely kissed her deeply to stop her from asking.

After that they didn't see a lot of Rowen's parents, who seemed to be touring the ball room, talking to people from the lab and from the CHP. Standing near the bar, Rowen, was holding Horatio's hand and talking animatedly to Ryan and Eric. She and Horatio had just retourned from the dance floor to find Eric and Ryan talking to each other, which was a good sign.

"Rowen, dear." Elaine Descamps said, suddenly popping out of nowhere beside Eric. "Your father and I are leaving, we want to get back to Fort Lauderdale before dark." She then stepped up and hugged her daugther. "I wish you the best of luck, you as well Lieutenant Caine." And then she was off, disappearing back into the small crowd gathered.

"Well," Ryan said, "it wasn't as bad as you imagined, huh?"

Rowen grinned and turned towards her husband, lying her head on his shoulder. "Not bad at all."

THE END!!!!!

Author's Note: this story will have a sequel, don't worry.


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